august...

So, it's about midsummer now. I don't feel like I've done anything worth while. Well, some things were, but I haven't gotten that "Living life on the edge" feeling lately, and it is making me kind of sad. I mean, chilling with my friends was pretty cool before CTY. Then CTY itself was so amazing in that I met tons of people who've changed my perspective and strengthened my goal. And CTY made me more active. Thank God. I feel so good now because I've been running and keeping in shape. It feels so good! Endorphins. adrenalin. Neuroscientists, call it what you want, but this feeling is why I love learning and why I love being active. My schedule came a long time ago. I have Visual Basic first. Then Gym for four days a week besides thursday, I think. Then I have language arts, then algebra ii, then latin iii, then US history ii, then chem. I'm pretty excited for chem because so far there's a lotta other kids I'll know in there!
So this is gonna be my spot for my philosophical ramblings. Right now I feel like I have a ravaging animal within me that needs to be released. Not through exercise or a run, but by being with other people who understand. After CTY, the only people I've been missing seriously are Ali, Alycia and Crypto C. They were like my best friends, and they got it. Alycia comforted me after the last dance when no one else was there to help me out from the rut I was in. Ali, though tired, did answer her door at like 6:15 in the morning when I came by. They helped me in so many ways they probably don't even know. And I haven't had a chance to talk to either of them seriously since that last day.
And YISU! I miss her still, so much. We just clicked as roomies. We still talk, but I really wish she lived closer or I lived closer to her because we could've been even closer than we already are. She's the first one to pop into mind when I think best friend. And she's the best mentor ever. She's guided me through so much already. I know we'll be friends forever :P
Thank god I'm playing field hockey because if I wasn't doing a sport this year, I would be SO FREAKIN BORED IN THIS FREAKIN HOUSE! I'd be doing legit NOTHING all day. Thank heavens I upped the ante and went for it, both at CTY and here in this stupid town. I'm actually really excited for the season. Hanging with karish and neha, then hanging with amy and katie, and then just meeting more people and becoming friends. It's so much better than just school!
I'm glad I've finally seen the light. I don't have to do band to have fun, though it would've been much easier. I'm friends with more than half the seniors in band anyways. And I met them other ways. And yeah, I'm probably not their closest sophomore friend, but I'm still one of their friends. I know I've been saying I'll do band next year or something, but honestly, I think ever since I saw how competitive MIT is or even EMORY is, I don't think that's actually gonna happen. I need human phys, AP Bio, AP Chem. The most rigorous courses BHS offers if I even WANT a chance to be considered serious for the neurosci programs! People say that I'm overly nerdy. I'm not even the top in class rank. THAT'S GOTTA CHANGE. If it doesn't, I'm screwed.
The only reason I'm like this at all is because I have a dream. I have a plan. I have goals! And I'm headstrong. And need to get those goals accomplished for my own self-sanity and pride.
So I need to get into ION. No, I don't want to get into ION. ION isn't an option. It's a NEED. I want to research for my summer. I want to spend my time south and get to see Emory and the other medical institutions there. I want to go to college at a good academic college. Be it a California state one (which are good at neuro), MIT, or emory which has the research facilities, and the people. I have this dream now. And that's gonna fuel me through my high school years. Sure, I'll have fun in high school, but that's not the POINT of high school. The point of high school is to learn, grow, and become someone prepared for the real world. The real world says that to get a decent job, the high school grad must go to college. I just want to go to a good college for the major i want. And the fact I've decided my major already, in my sophomore year of high school, only says I'm driven. And focused. And maybe a little insane. But do you blame me? I'm an intellectually curious girl who learns when she's given time off.
I have limits though. And PSATing is really setting them.
When the Kaplan book says do a couple chapters per week if you have 8-10 weeks,
my parents say "DO THREE HOURS!"
(it takes a half hour to do like one chapter)
that's just inane. I'm not gonna get more outta 3 hours of psat than 1 hour esp this early.
It doesn't even freakin COUNT this time. Studying just puts me way ahead of the other sophomores. LOL i'm still aiming for like a 222 anyways :P
I know I could do it, I just have to prove it. I should probably study some Chem before school starts too...

SUPERFANTASTICALLY,
reyi-reyi the