FH is over. 1 quarter down, 3 more to go.

I've barely made it out alive.
VB ---absolutely no idea.
Gym--Honors? wha?
Lit--HOPEFULLYYYYY A-. first and last time i will ever say that.
Algebra--A+ woohoo! :)
Latin--94! yay! even with all those 80s!
history- boo. i don't care. i can't pretend to not be apathetic. actually, i can. one...two...all gone. this man cannot teach. i cannot pretend to learn anything from him much longer.
chemistry--as of now, 94. as of tomorrow, i hope it stays that way.

so, remember that post about a two months ago about how i hate myself in burlington?
well, not much has changed. i'm trying so hard to be my crazy self. but i'm just a big stuttering, inarticulate mess.
and that too, i'm only this when around neha, aakansh, zill, krina, and brinda.
oh well, you gotta start somewhere.
i just realllllllllly miss dang, ali, alycia, zoe, etc. and every time we bostonians try for a reunion, we mess up.
i reallllllly need one. i'm dying. my spirit has flown. literally. i feel like the corpse of my former self. i feel as though i am stuck like this thing people know me as and i have no way of ever getting myself out. which makes me fall deeper.
especially with the humanities this year. i have no idea what it is, but my skill level has dropped. exponentially. from this year and last in history. well, i have a very good idea why. costa, no matter what he is outside of the classroom, cannot teach ME history. maybe his manic methods work for someone. they do NOT work for me. i'm suffering. i'm like one of those birds you see at the side of the road, wing broken, waddling upward, and then kerplank, boom-down. dead.
casey is just an enigmatic, fool of a fear mongering teacher. he tries to throw our minds for a loop every time he talks. but the thing is, most of what he tells us is fact. so it does instill fear. fear to speak up. at least in me. he seems as though he wants obedience and discipline in his students while discussing in a nonchalant way. i don't like it. he makes me feel like i am being x-rayed. maybe it's those constant scans. i liked him as a teacher until he told us about that court case. i really did not need to hear that. :[

i hope the end of field hockey shows an upshoot in my grades and dance performance level. i know i can do even better than i did at vijayadeshmi if i try and practice harder.
i'm pretty excited to rejoin and participate in the clubs i'm part of.
stupid first term.
better get high honors.
i'm going to KILL for it.
:[