don't unplug me or just shut me down.

I LOVE how much i vacillate between ideas. Legitimately, I don't have the same ideas from one day to the next. Yesterday, I was praising Wellesley, and today, on a whim off a conversation with a friend, I start checking out Viterbi. I'm like an academic courtesan, courting any and all of the options on my academic menu. Theoretically, being a TO and viterbi student, I'd have it alllll. Top 10 engineering school in the country, and top humanities program where I will figure out how to articulate myself and acquaint myself with a variety of topics.

I found out I have taken all the bio and chem prereqs and would be on track to graduate, probably. [things holding me back i can remedy in summer school.] & because lots of the reqs are 2 or 3 credits, I would most probably finish on time.

hmmm. seriously mulling this over. going to figure out meeting an advisor next week (when sched permits it :P )

BUT THIS OPTION is something i was seriously considering in 9th and 10th, before discovering neuro. and with the neuroengineering concentration, i can have the best of both worlds and a definite career.

ranjani auntie was onto something suggesting olin for me :P

and i think being an engineer legitimizes me. makes me seem less stupid for coming here.

and bme's are ubiquitous in this global age of biotechnology.

job offers and ideas and opportunity lie everywhere. one just has to seek it.

and grad school isn't impossible with it. (even for neuro) .

i think i'm going to go for it.

i just have to work tons harder though.

just getting by will NOT suffice.

and speaking of not getting by--

THAT"S (getting by) ALL I DID TODAY. my brain refused to concentrate.

ive been up all night for almost zero purpose. i got a rudimentary equations sheet done, not even my TAKE HOMEEE : (

this is going to be a very very very long day.

what i DID get done was getting amphetamine abec 7 bearings, cambria 62mm 82a duro wheels from 3dm, skatetool, and wave cams to FIX UP GNARLS BARKLEYYY :D

i miss the tightness i had when i just got him, and this will hopefully rectify how it's been riding lately. and in the last week i have become an aware longboarder--finally learning maintenance and keys to good longboarding hygiene. [changing bearings if rain, etc.]

can't wait to put it together and have it ride nice and smooth : )

(and look brand new with sick new wheels :D)

and hopefully the skatetool works as planned. i think it's the same one a longboarding club person used to "tighten" my trucks (kingpin)

one thing that worries me are the scratches it's accumulated... but i think that's natural.

i'll def consider upgrading to S8s or a new board in a year. [spring semester next year....lots of decisions around then]

and i cannot wait to ride around boston on it. my boston walks were so serene and slow and peaceful, but riding on a longboard? exponentially increase the awesomeeeee of boston. speed, agility, i can be across harvard bridge in like a hop, increasing longboarding's exposure and awesome along the way. ; )

and with mom's promises of driving to boston with her, i can definitely roam boston like a playground with my board for at least a stint of a week! :D

yep, definitely one thing i DONT want to give up ever.

longboarding made me and makes me brave.

:O)

xoxo

maithreyi

hum hallelujah. :)

DANCE DRAMA IS A GO-GO! :D

("wake me up before you go-go"...haha)

i'm in a weird mood.

slept kinda sorta late ishhh last night and looking at an almost all-nighter tonight ,most likely.

tomorrow's going to SUCKKK

i have a chem midterm which i don't know how to study for/don't want to study for even though I NEED the good grade studying would give me.

and i just realized i didn't bring my calc for my self-said all night study seshhion.

bleh.

not in the mood. thank god i got my anthro done with already. less stress.

more chem!

& i'm thinking about kinda sorta maybe possibly hmmm .... transferring to WELLESLEY! : O

there are tons of pros, and tons of cons.

we'll see. i'm looking to definitely explore it. [visit alone in the summer on one of those jaunts with the car ALONEEE. i'm totally excited for the driving practice mom's promised me. and the possible car! haha.]

i'll put a detailed procon list when i have the time to realllly think this through, but for now check out this picture! that's like reason enough to pack up and go back home! hahah. [it's not really funny, is it?]

the thing is, wellesley is the type of school i would have seen myself at if it weren't for rhp.

a liberal arts school with strong science. it's very much a school in the mold of brown and yale, but just with all girls. and their amazing cross-reg program with MIT gives me perks that i always wished for when reading the MIT admissions blogs... like an mit email id! and going to MIT, ish. ; )

the all girls thing would also put me in a similar situation as ninks, if she chooses simmons! so we could be like in the same consortium and things, i think. [i don't really know what's up with all that in ma... haha]

& talking to sandra will help put this in perspective, so i'm going to hold off on any definitive decisions until probably july.

...back to chemistry. but just felt like putting up SOMETHING.

:D

xoxo,

rafiki

feeling uninspired, but happy?

I feel so uninspired today. chemistry is so dry.

and boring.

and meh.

i can do most of the problems from the practice test.

yeah, that's not a good sign, but it's better than nothing.

and i have four hours plus lecture to review tomorrow.

i can do it.

right now, though, i need sleep.

g'night.

and i'm going to start blogging more substantially from now onwards.

to dance or not to dance?

So.
I am really emotional right now.


This summer, I really wanted to kick back, no plans, do whatever in India, soul-search.
Figure out if what i've wanted for so long is indeed what i still want.
and if not, fix it.

and now, i'm being offered this opportunity that i probably never will be able to take again, if i want what i want as i wanted in the past.
dancing in a dance drama. not just dancing it alone, but with my guru (and others). something i had longed to do and regretted not doing for years and years.

if i take dance and india as mutually exclusive--neither can happen WITH the other--which do i choose?

india has been a long time coming as my mom and brother have gone in the last year, but I haven't. everyone misses me and hates me for not going last year. and if i prolong that, they'll just end up forgetting me or thinking i'll never come.

but dance has been a long time coming too! this is the first year i have NO plans that can interfere, yet. nothing holding me back from leaping in. except of course mom and dad's gripes about india. mom today brought up two points: how can i let dance dictate when I can go to india? and it will be raining if i go in july.
SO WHAT? it nearly ALWAYSSSS is rainy when i make it to india.
yes, my break is early enough that i can go through june, in theory. but what for if i am missing something that i will regret missing.

I always will beat myself up about missing Dancing: Nature's Art. and not being around this year and learning Savitri. and not taking advantage of my location and learning all the dance that i could have in all my years in burlington. So why not amend that? Why not do something that I will have to show for? Why not have some goals? It could cure me of this purposelesness I have felt in the past. It can cure me of all that pain of not getting a dance group here and that loneliness of losing something that once gave me such a feeling of accomplishment. i feel like i don't know myself anymore because as soon as my arangetram was over and a long time after, i could define myself as a dancer, and in a few short months, i lost that CONNECTION. i really want to reconnect with it. and having such goals and a due date and a reason to dance over and over and over would just improve me. revitalize me. make me go to india skinny! [if they both could occur, that is.]

right now, i guess, things are up to me.

we'll see which way this cookie crumbles.
-maithreyi

stress. life. and coping.

...
so life this semester has been rollin'.
after a bumpy start, i pulled through my first midterms alright.
i survived in all my classes unscathed.
then kinda took a snooze for the next two to three weeks.
and then-- the midterms strike again! :(
i have another statistics midterm on thursday. and i have not remotely started studying. tomorrow's going to be an adventure.

on other news, i loveeee my friends! :)
mansi = <3
and so do daksha and deepthi and seenu.
i like all the people i've been meeting so far, and i miss all the people i havent seen in a while too.
overall, i feel like i have somewhere to turn when things get hard. and that's something i'm really thankful for because i didn't have that first semester.

vhs health is inconvenient and i hate it. but sometimes you have to do things you hate for the greater good. :P
im graduating. cap and gown. and walking. ;)

so all in all, life is alright.
i'm excited about some things, and just want to get through others.

like a normal teenager. B)


IM SO EXCITED MOMMY"S COMING ON FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D