lately, things have been amazing.
i have had to deal with some rough adjustment in a sense that it was a whole lot of new, exciting, friendly, amazing people in my life all of a sudden, and that was new.
however, remember this? : [taken from march 20, 2009 post]
" i miss being the center of attention. i miss being obnoxiously loud. i miss walking into a cafeteria and having to wonder "hmmm...who should i sit with today?!" or exclaiming, "yo, dant" or "yo, chan!" wherever i went. i miss being one of the guys. i miss playing frisbee everyday. i miss being genuinely and completely and irrevocably happy. i miss seeing the sunrise coincide with happy times. i miss crying myself to sleep the night before it was all over. i miss talking to old friends while new friends consoled me i miss "a beautiful mind", i miss "you deserve a whack *whackkk*!", i miss "Action Potential!", i miss subcultsh, i miss the precollege guys, i miss the ballerinas, i miss buckland and rocky, i miss "four four four four!" and their little flag and marching, i miss "girl power!", i miss fun dances, i miss bohemian rhapsody, i miss blister in the sun, i miss tunak tunak tun, i miss nightswimming x3,i missed a lot more things but stupid chrome deleted like 30 of them... i miss belonging, i miss having friends who no matter when we saw each other next, we'd talk like best buds, i miss learning because learning was amazing, i miss wanting everything that happened to happen, i miss being reallly satisfied; feeling like you were on the inside of a really good secret joke, i miss being proud of my asian/indian ness, i miss race not being a factor, i miss having random convos without being weird and awk but making fun of kids who were, i miss feeling truly in control, i miss being myself, i miss a lotta things. but the things i miss most are passionfruit, love, friendship, learning, and learning how to say goodbye. i think i get an f----- in saying goodbye. i never wanted to leave.
nevermores--2007 x33333 "
...um, yeah. story of my life : )i do walk into the cafeteria wondering whom to sit with, but because of the fact I never walk in WITH people, and I have places to go, and things to do, I eat alone.
I do say "yo [insert name here]!" & "sup, [insert name here]?!" on a daily even hourly basis.
i love it because you sight these people, and it makes you feel like you belong. at least for me, friendship lies in the ties that don't restrict you--they connect you in a way in which you can still do your thing, but reconnect as you wish.
i can definitely vouch for being very tomboyish. I do play frisbee like a dude: i love frisbee. and I am not afraid of it or of those playing the sport alongside me. I love playing sports with guys because they don't give a crap about if you're hurt or chit chat. that's something some girls will never get a handle of. the friend thing? having friends that no matter when you see them again, you talk like you never left each other side's? constant occurance! but the thing is, like my last year of cty, i lack that sense of belonging to ONE group. even crypto c was a definite box i fit into-- here, i guess the closest thing would be hso and ivtcf. and trojan vision, but that's more of a case-by-case basis. me and karthik will never be biffs, but me and steve can talk, no worries. there are about 5 to 10 distinct cliques within marks hall itself. and for a while, i could fit into any seamlessly, but now--these groups no longer are confined to our residents. they include others... and they do things as groups, like study in the lounge together, go to the row together, play mindless games together... not my thing. i rather make use of my time. i rather go longboarding, wind in my hair, dashboard confessional blaring through my ipod headphones zooming around campus. i rather go study laying out beside a tree than inside on my hot, uncomfortable bed, or in the freezing lounge downstairs. i rather work at two labs, study hard, and play frisbee, and edit for trojan vision than ever spend another minute on greek row ever. [three words: trojan knights' party.] so yes, im a different kind of person, and yes, i did kinda lose the better friends i had here due to work and weird situations, but i am coming out of it. it will all be okay in the end. : )
xoxo,
maithreyi
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