praying to hanuman + listening to one's parents = things work out for the best.
... it's no secret the last 3 weeks have been me at my homesick worst. i can practically not function because i feel like i haven't found my people here and i can't go home to where I belong.
it makes it hard to do work because though that's the only thing left, it's lonely. it feels purposeless even when i KNOW it has purpose in my life goals.
i did pedal it out and study lots from when i was sick and catalina onward, but evidently, i still need to work harder. college is hard. i have come to accept that. college is far from home-- also a fact i must come to accept. college is filled with new faces. college is trying. college is growth. college is thought laughter and more thought. college is not about making friends; it's about learning more than one thinks is possible.
but going home will help ease all that tension. yes, I have lots of work for the trip. but it's easier to do knowing that my family's there for me. if i could hold on to that feeling, that inner peace that those thoughts give me, i would be fine. my parents are my best friends, truly, because no one else could ever know me better. they know the look on my face when i'm genuinely happy and when i'm faking it--even over skype. they know when i'm in pain, they know when i need them. and them helping me through this transition by realizing I truly need them is all i could have prayed for. I need their help. for one of the first times since my childhood, i need their help with schoolwork. it shouldn't be so hard to admit. i need them to ease me and help me work through it all. I can't wait to make them proud next semester. I know I can achieve all that I think that I am capable of. I know I can. It may take time, but I am not unskilled. I know I can achieve these lofty goals that I have set for myself. I know I can.
xoxo,
maithreyi. my mom will see me in like, a day and 6 hours + or - a few hoursss.
woooooooo!!!!
I CANNOT WAIT TO BE HOMEEE. <3
No comments:
Post a Comment