We went to walden. me, ninks, and (grumpy) cousin of ninks.
at one point, we split up...
"looking" for thoreau's replica house.
i was the one who had seen it before.
who supposedly knew where it was.

i was the one who got lost.
but I FOUND SPIRITUAL STRENGTH AND POWER.
see the scene up top?
NOT walden.
the non-walden little oasis off to the side of walden.
a little known running path.
a little known hike.
i met it up to where it hit the hay, physically. i saw a legitimate cornfield, a meadow.
It was beautiful.
Undeniably, indescribably, beautiful.

So was walden. So was the idea of whiling away time with nature, instead of indoors. stuffy, and stuffed.
it was amazing...
even with two really grumpy people who act like they are like 60.
(ahh. so much walking! don'tstop! oh, be careful, you'll fall!)

i love the pictures i took, but i feel like i don't realllly know how i'm going to attribute/afix quotes onto them.
i want them to be symbolic, metaphoric, and figurative.

i'll figure something out.
mother nature has her ways.

xoxo,
maithreyi

more of the same...and something different.

so it's march. and not only am i slacking, but i'm slacking to point where my average in a class is a b-, and i have two failing grades in the class, and i have to remake a makeup test. and my mom hates the teacher. and i hate the teacher. and just about everyone i know hates this teacher. 6 guesses who! : ) 

but that aside...

everything just got insurmountably more difficult. and i have sat's coming up in may againnn :( 

and i have aps .

and finals

and ion app which i am actually doing this year. 

i have a lot to work on for it though. I have most of it, I just need to organize my recco letters, which takes a kazillion years. 

and i have all the other raw data. i hope my psats and sats are enough to get me through. i feel like the were on the "meh" side. maybe my other stats can boost it. 

i'm nervous. but if i get into ION, i'm virtually gauranteed a fabulous summer in a hot climate with kids i don't know. but am forced to know. which has the potential of being very very very good. 

i even looked at my housing options. it will only cost about...more than half my stipend! :P

but totally worth it. 

free-ish. and then being paid?! 

: )

i'm feeling low on the social ladder though. 

prom is doing nothing for my self-esteem. no invites, and my only friends don't want to go and i feel like i'm dragging them on a death march. it shouldn't be this way. 

i'd totes rather be with people who want to go. and are excited about it. but not like the sisterhood kids cuz for some reason, they are wayyy too wrapped up in it. actually the whole school is getting prom-crazed. which is fine but aggravating. and what's more aggravating? i'm fattttt :(

i miss being the center of attention. i miss being obnoxiously loud. i miss walking into a cafeteria and having to wonder "hmmm...who should i sit with today?!" or exclaiming, "yo, dant" or "yo, chan!" wherever i went. i miss being one of the guys. i miss playing frisbee everyday. i miss being genuinely and completely and irrevocably happy. i miss seeing the sunrise coincide with happy times. i miss crying myself to sleep the night before it was all over. i miss crying over a boy. i miss talking to old friends while new friends consoled me. i miss rating my friends, quite honestly, but still as like the single hottest people this side of the world, i miss "a beautiful mind", i miss "you deserve a whack *whackkk*!", i miss "Action Potential!", i miss subcultsh, i miss the precollege guys, i miss the ballerinas, i miss buckland and rocky, i miss "four four four four!" and their little flag and marching, i miss "girl power!", i miss fun dances, i miss bohemian rhapsody, i miss blister in the sun, i miss tunak tunak tun, i miss nightswimming x3,i missed a lot more things but stupid chrome deleted like 30 of them... i miss belonging, i miss having friends who no matter when we saw each other next, we'd talk like best buds, i miss learning because learning was amazing, i miss wanting everything that happened to happen, i miss being reallly satisfied; feeling like you were on the inside of a really good secret joke, i miss being proud of my asian/indian ness, i miss race not being a factor, i miss having random convos without being weird and awk but making fun of kids who were, i miss feeling truly in control, i miss being myself, i miss a lotta things. but the things i miss most are passionfruit, love, friendship, learning, and learning how to say goodbye. i think i get an f----- in saying goodbye. i never wanted to leave. 

nevermores--2007 x33333

it will never get any better. 

new template, anxious muwanda.

hmmm...

i love this new blog site. 

but i dunno about blogging right now. 

i've written about wanting to vlog for a while now. and i have found the perfect camera. it's just convincing my parents that it's not just cute, but functional. 

but i think i can win them over eventually. 

so vlogs are a ways away,but they're in the pipeline...

as for the 84. things are moving along swimmingly. i have a contest to judge in march that my school is hopefully entering! :) 

school's blah...

and i got into the university of southern california's resident honors program! 

but you know what? i genuinely wish i wanted it a bit more. i feel like i was given a puppy when i wanted a kitty. it's weird. but you can't hate the puppy. you have to think about taking care of the puppy, you know? so i might. or i may abandon the puppy to find a kitty. (and this is when the metaphor gets sad.) 

i'mma visit to see whether it's a good fit for me: academically and socially. so cal is SOOOO not where i thought i would end up. but it's unexpected. and it's serendipitous. so maybe all signs point north, and i'm just rationalizing it too much. 

prom !?

i'm trying to convince ninky(neh), my biffley to come to prom. it's not an easy task, but i'm trying! 

if i indeed leave then it'll be the last big event to finish off our schooling years together. 

other than graduation, which will still be epic. 

as for dresses...mommy says to just simply go to like macys and look and wear and decide. that worked for final fling when shopping with estrogen-pumped little 8th graders who make you feel realllllly selfconscious. but i may drag ninky and kay along. kay is also refusing to come--saying oh, i'll come for senior or it's your night... which is bull-crap because she is jsut as much my biffley and i want her there when i'm basically saying goodbye. 

part of me says going will just be a great experience and something i wouldn't necessarily regret, but something that nobody here has tried and i passed up. 

but that said, i haven't really exhausted my senior opportunities here. 

i have a lot to do next year. i have a chance to really shine if i want to. but the thing is, i can shine at usc too. and it MAY be easier. and that easierness will push me to grad schools like mit and harv and stanford etc. that will satisfy my wants. 

usc pros: early, start neuro courses, be fitter (ultimate, sunny), SUNNY, california, not too hard, not too easy, rhp, to, fsh, rennaisance scholars, opportunity to be more than jsut a neuroscientist, good research institute, good networking for grad school..., work hard during this upcoming summer, start doing something i care about--not just hmwrk for the sake of hmwrk, meet like-minded peeps, care about sports/FRISBEE!, thin down because of campus food, kay's fam/manoj uncle?!, apple laptop & camera, still graduate with my bhs class

usc cons/staying pros: take more aps next year, stay with ninky (big pro X3)>

I HATE LIFE. MY CONS LIST ISNT THIS EMPTYY. IT GOT DELETEDDD :(

that's pretty much it for now. seems pretty even. 

i am leaning towards really considering it...based on campus and feel of students. 

if i can deal with that, i'm booking my plane ticket ( as long as fin aid and crap works out... fingers crossed) 

let you know, as well as the rest of my school, what i decide---

maithreyi