complacency: it's getting me.

yay, more prewritten blog posts! :)
i've been thinking more deeply since i've taken a break from longboarding since I need to do maintenance and have been walking around campus today...
here it goes:
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I feel like ever sine I dropped chemistry last week, in my effort to study MORE, I've fallen into complacency and a feeling of endless time. The fact is I have hours of time that used to be chemistry and now they are biology, writing, and "fear of diversity", but I feel like there's more I could be doing. There's always so much more!

I think since I miss neuro so much, I'll pull out my binder and my ol' textbooks, and just go to town. Treat it like another class: read the literature, and get prepared for sending out my CV to the neuro dept and keck for SOME legitimate neuroscience research experience next semester. I owe it to my starving brain! I owe it to my family! I owe it to myself: I came here to get started, not to be a lowly freshman with nothing to her name.

I've been praying more regularly too, the ritualistic routine ones. I'm more stable spiritually, but though I have BOUGHT a barebone, cheap translation of the Gita, I have yet to take that leap and read and interpret. I'm reluctant to do so because all my life, my mom and Ranjani Auntie have majorly determined how I see things spiritually. I have never dictated my own faith, really. And I think I'm scared to see where that takes me, but I also WANT that voice of guidance and understanding. I want someone to tell me what it means, what I should get from it, with authority. I don't know if what I will get from reading it will be the "right" things...but I probably should give it a shot, like anything else.

I just listened to my dad's speech at my Arangetram, it popped up on my iPod's shuffle songs. I feel like shuffle songs just knows what I'm thinking: this morning, I was just singing "Blister in the Sun" and then later, when I turned on shuffle, that was the very first song... but I digress. My dad. he was talking about why Indian parents, like him, make their daughters go to dance class: 'to keep hem connected to Indian culture and ethos.' And that's so true. I feel like in comparison to other Northies who put together Bhangra and Bollywood routines, I am filled and immersed with cultural understanding through my dance that I would not otherwise have a passion or interest for. I owe it to dance that I understand my myths and know how to tell these practically lost stories.

The NORTH indian dance styles that persist in today's India are so much more prone to fusion and lack traditional thought. Anjaane tried to put in some traditional dancing, and they should be commended for that fact, but the execution of the steps by those girls was cringeworthy! The effort that was present throughout the rest of their piece was lacking in this segment, and that was due to lack of effort and knowledge to understand Bharatanatyam steps. The idea to do some classical and incorporate it was wonderful, but it would have been more wonderful if it was executed in a professional manner, i.e. So You Think You Can Dance's Bollywood number a year ago. I have done some of those fusion elements (more classical, less non) before...many have. It's something you have to adjust to and do as a dancer, but professionally and with some understanding. that just irked me during their performance because every other hip hop or classic Bollywood move was picture perfect, but the classical interlude was so baaad. : (

This just told me that I missed being on stage. I love to perform. and I loved "Shiv Tandav Stotram" because I helped choreograph. I was a key part of that coming to fruition, and it felt so good. I want to come back to campus after break with that in mind. I want to find dancers who are passionate and NEED it as much as I do, or at the very least have an interest to learn how to dance/hone their craft. I am going to bring my practice saris. I will have more dances in my arsenal. I will coordinate a performance by next year!

So, recap of strategies to prevent complacency:
- MORE studying & reading & understanding & writing

- start Bhagavad Gita. read commentaries to enrich and get guidance through it.

- read more NEUROOOO. get prepared for getting into a legitimate neuroscience lab next semester on a volunteer basis.

-DANCE MORE. take choreo notes on youtube like Ranjani Auntie.

-Relax a little! It's freshman year! No need to win the Nobel Prize just yet. :)

xoxo,
maithreyi--THAT's my name. don't wear it out.