my new-found celebrity crush.

I love learning about this president. Nothing compares to what he tried to accomplish and the trials and tribulations of his life and his exuding presence and personality and his vivacity and his views of diplomacy and policy and so forth are so so admirable and though he did have the Irish Aryan upbringing, he still inspires through breaking religious precedents and ethnic barriers. And his being from Boston doesn't hurt my admiration for him at alll.

I can't wait until break when I can just read and look and be captivated all over again by his simple manner of inspiring a country to care about a variety of issues at his library. Seeing what he did, how he started, and how he overcame all his physical illnesses to become this amazing leader of our free world really makes me think that this is not all for naught. this all is for something. this all matters in some way, and there's without a doubt a higher purpose and goal to every moment and path I tread. and though, i cannot BE john f. kennedy --or president at all for that matter (:[)--i CAN change this world and make it better through my existence.

I can affect a tangible change that will last beyond my small time in this earthly world. But thoughts like that drift me far from the sciences and caring about obscure things like "the future of photoacoustic imaging" or how to program a coin game in C++. I have to constantly reassure myself that world-changing is NOT going to happen overnight, and I can't very well drop EVERYTHING to achieve social change. I have to work within the confines of society, for now. I have to think about how to make the best of this situation. I have to, as corny or ridiculous as it sounds, ask myself "WWJFKD?" And though that answer changes, I know that Harvard JFK would make the best of it, even if it wasn't his cup of tea ( like Latin his sophomore year.) It's endearing to know that THOUGH he did not do particularly STELLAR academically, and was a C-student, he was the one who captured everyone's hearts and minds and hope. He had that magnetic personality. Even when he was basically failing Choate, his family and his friends and the administration did not write him off because he had that intangible fire inside him that could not be put out.

I'd like to think I have even a 10th of that-- the ability to make someone's day or light up that moment for them, or the ability to inject hope in someone unable to make it through. And if not, that's something I'd want to aspire to be. Not a title like "professor", or "lawyer", or "doctor"-- just infectious hope. And when I realize that “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson I know I'm going to be okay-- what matters is within me- and that's this desire.

Reflective!

I’m sitting at the spot I called ,eloquently, “2tree” last year. (The second tree on the grassy knoll from proximity to Marks Hall.) I came here because I am stressed. I am super worried about my midterm on Friday. I know I will do everything in my power, but it’s just frustrating because circumstances, more than my will, have kept me from studying. I have wanted nothing more than the chance to just study and do problems for hours at a time—I know that that will prepare me completely for this task on Friday.
I realized that I am either a brilliant actress or the WORST actress because I can’t hide my emotions. I wear them on my face. Walking into APASS today to just give back my leftover cutlery and plasticware and pick up my paycheck, I didn’t THINK I looked stressed, but apparently, I did.

Once it was pointed out, I realized that stress was that feeling in my stomach like I was going to throw up. Stress was that flutter that wouldn’t dissipate. Stress was that feeling that this was all too much. Unsustainable. Stress was the panic and fear that set in as jade told me I would moderate the panel yesterday. The adrenaline and the thought “WHEN would I finish studying? WHEN would the universe allow for THAT to happen?!”

This is why I’m reflecting right now. I need to collect my thoughts. I need to get my problem sets done and come up with ideas for my BME project, and finish my presentation for my theater project about Bharatanatyam, but not at the expense of my sanity. I need to work within the framework of my brain instead of fight against it.

i need to work on the strength that are these emotions that I convey all too well, instead of dwelling on the negative. I need to CHILL OUT, but AFTER this midterm! :]

<3,
Maithreyi

gratias tibi ago, USC.

today.

I happened to ponder of the good ol' days.

the days filled with wants, needs, and desires that could NOT be met in high school.

the days filled with a yearning for MORE.

a yearning for a school where I could make that MORE a reality.

a yearning filled by the passionate words of MIT undergrads in their Admissions' blogs.

as I saw that the students who had inspired me had no longer a spot on the site, I realized my age. My status as a SOPHOMORE in COLLEGE. And that I have come three years since the days that I would pray and hope and dream and wish for that school. that experience. that life.

I'm happy God provided me with a first-class education that I hadn't necessarily hand-picked.

I'm happy that the UNIVERSE made USC happen for me.

I'm happy that I am at a school that values all the parts of itself: humanities, diversity, sciences, arts, engineering, education, etc. EVERY idea in the world is represented, every COUNTRY is represented, every FACET of society is represented. I love this school beyond a shadow of a doubt, and realizing that I am no longer the pining heart of a trying highschooler, but I am forevermore a Trojan.

sedes ubi fata quieta ostendunt; illic fas regna resurgere Troiae

"Here are provided seats of meditative joy, where shall rise again the destined reign of Troy."

I LOVE my school, and I think that crying over how much I have grown is a testament that I haven't even noticed how much I have taken on this Trojan identity. While we may not have the most recognized class rings in the country, and while we might not be automatically assumed as the best engineers, and while we may not have the Logarhythms, we ARE SC, we WILL fight on, and the Trojan Family is super strong. Viterbi is in the top ten engineering schools along with marshall school of business and the school of cinematic arts. We excel at athletics, academics, and have involvement in the community and our school. We are the future as we are well-rounded in thought, action, and execution. We are prepared for ANY circumstance and for all the bureaucracy of our world since we have a great deal of it in our own institution. We are a force to be reckoned with. We will rise. Our Troy will become a Rome. And I'm so so so grateful that I came here.

"HOPE deferred makes the heart sick."

So, recently, I have been really reverting to one of my worst qualities: judgement. I tend to formulate a view of someone that is hard to break, but VERY refreshing if and when it is broken.

Perfect example is a girl who is very similar to me--I judged her through her facebook persona, never having met her in real life, but it ends up being that she is SUPER interesting & really reminds me of myself when I was in her shoes just one short year ago.

I judge EVERYONE. I judge people for different things. I think it gives me an idea of conversation topics, and ways to go about discussing things with them, but I really should not. I don't think I take into account that I am also being judged. I don't think I comprehend the view that I give to others of my personality, what they think of me from how I dress, act, and what I do.

When thinking about the lowest points of myself, and things I want to change -- it's this quality. I think I'm doing better on the whole, but there are times where I am judgemental & snippy when I should be open and accepting. Going to "Overflow" always teaches me lessons I would not have ever thought to examine.

When Steve told his (hilarious, but sad and moving) story about Gina and Joe, and what ill feelings or parts of us had died in our pasts, it took me back to January. I had judged my community. I had judged my school. I had deemed them unfit for me and not worthy of my love and my appreciation. I had deemed them lost causes, and I almost resented being here. I was LOST and my HOPE was deferred! My heart was so so very sick. I was in the worst place spiritually-- I was back to going through the motions, but not believing.

God has definitely resurrected my passion--this summer, putting dance in my path, placing my heart in Wyoming and giving me both a breather and a spiritual healer and a bout of rest, and time with community and friends back in Boston. Doing those things, staying active, and becoming myself again, I felt as though my desire and my drive were revitalized! God is good.

I feel like I am repurposed. I feel as though I live to serve: not just my community, my future, and my generation, but ANYONE and EVERYONE. I feel this sense of obligation to my fellow man, and I think I felt it when I came to campus last year, but I did not understand the nudge that God was giving me. I know now, and I am pursuing it. I think that I will never tire of saying how "LIfe of Pi" changed my life, but it really came to me when my mind was reopened.

The haunting thoughts of "WHY am I drawn to these people?" & the nervous questioning and obedience to my parents that "I won't hang out with the "Christians" anymore" all confused me. I had a spiritual identity crisis: and spiritual identity should not a crisis make. I know that now. I know that "All religions are true." & that I can rationalize and explain my love for my Christian community of brothers and sisters through my love for God: whether that be Hanuman, Ganesha, Murugan, or Jesus.

It may not be how YOU view it, but my spiritual life is what works for me, and how God wishes and wills me to view the world. I am at peace with the world nowadays, and I truly feel brought back to life. I feel like this is my second chance to make something of this opportunity I was given. To be a light on campus. To be a beacon to those lost and alone like I felt last semester. I really hope that USC Drishti takes off the way I think it could. I really hope that people reciprocate the dedication I have for my communities. I really hope that one day, Hindu Student Organization can be a family as dedicated and consecrated to God and the word that we meet more than 2 times a week out of the WANT in our hearts. Or Drishti would want to practice and bond as a team super-often. I hope people show their inner-zeal. I hope I get accepted to the things I want. I want them so badly. I hope that DESI Project is successful! I have not deferred my hope. My heart is beating strongly.

<33,

maithreyi

Faith

please watch ! i reallly enjoyed making this. it's short, but it should get a discussion going! :)

oh, right. we're sophomores :)

so, sophomore fall has been very NON slumpy lately. it's been go-go-go!

i AM IN: URSC Advocacy, Building Government, APASS & DESI Project, Hindu Student Organization, USC Drishti, I"m RUSHING Delta Omicron Zeta, the leadership fraternity, helping out with TCF events/etc, and I"m trying out for Asli Baat.

This is on top of an 18 unit course load.

MONDAYS are my worst, but simultaneously best days.
I don't get much rest, but I love the rush and the fun of it because when it's over, i'm with my best friends chillin in my lovely apartment with some of my favorite people.

I LOVE being busy.

the end.
lol
xoxo,
maithreyi

do i know who i am?

1. Introduce yourself...
I'm Maithreyi--Reyi to some, Maith to a few, and a nerd to alllll :]

2. It's Wednesday at noon, where are you usually?
getting up and in shower or eating :) (ask me in a week and i'll prolly be at class or something more productive)

3. What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
whatever works? alll.

4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now?
365 & aussie

5. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21?
no. goes against what i believe and my values.

6. What countries have you been to?
singapore, us, india, england, bahamas, france, belgium, netherlands, germany (briefly)

7. Do you watch MTV anymore?
i used to watch the hills, sometimes the city, and reruns of laguna beach seasons 123 and newport harbor. i also watched the show about the dance and performance school. and "if you really knew me"... and a few other choice programming gems:D THE PAPER! i watched the paper.

8. What do you think about Oprah?
i'm indifferent really. i mean, it'd be cool to meet her, but MEH.

9. What color are your bed sheets?
no sheeeeetttts cuz my bed's new and unslept in for almost a MONTH :/

10. You need a new pair of jeans..what store do you go to first?
sears/macys/insert cheapoish department store here

11. Did you ever watch The O.C.?
i watched the pilot a few years back, was intrigued, but never got time/chance/availability to watch the rest.

12. What kind of car do you drive?
nothing-- my parents let me drive their subaru and honda sometimes. but i will be driving ZIPCARS around the LA area :]

13. Honestly, is that car insured?
cars have to be (?!)

14. Do you like sushi?
noooo. i'm a vegetarian. sushi doesn't really work with that.

15. Have you ever been to Tiffany & Co. or Saks 5th Ave?
Yes, their outlet versions :P

16. Did your parents spoil you growing up?
nooooo

17. Do you like roller coasters?
it depends. NO LOOP-DE-LOOPS! but other than that, i'm down.

18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to?
every time i board a plane, i get either seventeen, teen vogue, or something of that nature. i love those websites too. :)

19. Do you remember the WB show "Popular"?
no, never heard of it.

20. When you go out do you prefer to go to a dance club or to a bar where you can chill with friends?
i don't know yet, having never done either. but i feel like i'd be the dance club / kareoke kinda gal.

21. What do you think about gay marriage?
i think that it doesn't concern me, so why should i judge? people should be allowed to be with whomever they love. having met gay people who are all different races and ethnicities and such, i think that they are deserving of equal rights. they are just people like you and me. and one of my better friends at school is gay- i want him to be allowed the freedoms to do whatever he wants with his life. everyone deserves that.

22. Who do you think will be the next president?
someone who'll do the job well, hopefully.

23. Are you registered to vote?
i registered the day after my birthday :)

24. Do you own an iPod?
yes, i do. i have an old iPod video 30gb but i don't use it much anymore as i have an iPhone as well.

25. Is your bathroom filled with beauty stuff?
a few :)

26. What do you normally smell like?
idk. fresh? ahah

27. Do you like Carrie Underwood?
i like her enough. i loved her first album best. "jesus take the wheel', 'some hearts', etc are the BEST

28. Been to "The Vegas"?
where's 'the vegas'? i've been to vegas/las vegas!

29. How far away do you live from your parents?
i live / study in LA -- 2995 miles away.

30. Are you happy with your job?
i'm a student. :] so yes!

What happened to 31?

32. What did you get in the mail today?
wah wah wah. nothinggggg.

33. How do you like your steak cooked?
no meat, por favore. :P

34. Britney Spears...ready to have a nervous break down or just having fun?
i love her old stuff, and i feel sorry for her now.

35. What do you usually order at Taco Bell?
NOTHINGGG. ew. but i did eat a crunch wrap once.

36. Have you ever sat all the way thru Gone With the Wind?
no.

37. Have you ever been to Mt Rushmore?
no, but i'm pretty sure it'll be on my dad's list of things to do at some point.

38. Is it just me, or was The Marine (w/John Cena) a really horrible movie?
i dunno, was it?

39. where did this question go?

40. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)?
WYOMING. beautifulllllllllll lots of love <3

41. What is your favorite candle scent?
fruity, foody, earthy. .

42. Do you believe places can really be haunted?
maybe?

43. Do you smoke cigarettes?
noooooooooooooooooooooooooo ew ew ew . the84.org. thank you.

44. Have you ever been to NYC or LA?
BOTH. NUMEROUS TIMES. i basically live in LA, and with my close proximity to NYC, i have lots of friends who live there/study there/and my fam likes to go there?

45. How many states have you been to where all you saw was the airport?
tennessee, colorado, wisconsin i wanna say? so 3 ish. we fly direct as much as possible.

46. Do you think 50 questions is enough?
for now. i just wanted something rather interesting instead of "who'd you kiss? and the crap you see on facebook.

47. Are you currently planning a trip?
two-- my trip back to school. and my road trip that is yet to be determined when/if/where i'll go.

48. Is Ryan Seacrest gay?
i dunno. i feel like he's metro. but i also feel like it doesn't concern us!

49. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills?
no.

50. What do you think about space travel?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sign me up. zoom zoom zoom, make my heart go boom boom. supernova girllll <3

xoxo,
maithreyi

( I WAS BOREDDDDDDDDD)

do i know who i am?

1. Introduce yourself...
I'm Maithreyi--Reyi to some, Maith to a few, and a nerd to alllll :]

2. It's Wednesday at noon, where are you usually?
getting up and in shower or eating :) (ask me in a week and i'll prolly be at class or something more productive)

3. What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
whatever works? alll.

4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now?
365 & aussie

5. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21?
no. goes against what i believe and my values.

6. What countries have you been to?
singapore, us, india, england, bahamas, france, belgium, netherlands, germany (briefly)

7. Do you watch MTV anymore?
i used to watch the hills, sometimes the city, and reruns of laguna beach seasons 123 and newport harbor. i also watched the show about the dance and performance school. and "if you really knew me"... and a few other choice programming gems:D THE PAPER! i watched the paper.

8. What do you think about Oprah?
i'm indifferent really. i mean, it'd be cool to meet her, but MEH.

9. What color are your bed sheets?
no sheeeeetttts cuz my bed's new and unslept in for almost a MONTH :/

10. You need a new pair of jeans..what store do you go to first?
sears/macys/insert cheapoish department store here

11. Did you ever watch The O.C.?
i watched the pilot a few years back, was intrigued, but never got time/chance/availability to watch the rest.

12. What kind of car do you drive?
nothing-- my parents let me drive their subaru and honda sometimes. but i will be driving ZIPCARS around the LA area :]

13. Honestly, is that car insured?
cars have to be (?!)

14. Do you like sushi?
noooo. i'm a vegetarian. sushi doesn't really work with that.

15. Have you ever been to Tiffany & Co. or Saks 5th Ave?
Yes, their outlet versions :P

16. Did your parents spoil you growing up?
nooooo

17. Do you like roller coasters?
it depends. NO LOOP-DE-LOOPS! but other than that, i'm down.

18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to?
every time i board a plane, i get either seventeen, teen vogue, or something of that nature. i love those websites too. :)

19. Do you remember the WB show "Popular"?
no, never heard of it.

20. When you go out do you prefer to go to a dance club or to a bar where you can chill with friends?
i don't know yet, having never done either. but i feel like i'd be the dance club / kareoke kinda gal.

21. What do you think about gay marriage?
i think that it doesn't concern me, so why should i judge? people should be allowed to be with whomever they love. having met gay people who are all different races and ethnicities and such, i think that they are deserving of equal rights. they are just people like you and me. and one of my better friends at school is gay- i want him to be allowed the freedoms to do whatever he wants with his life. everyone deserves that.

22. Who do you think will be the next president?
someone who'll do the job well, hopefully.

23. Are you registered to vote?
i registered the day after my birthday :)

24. Do you own an iPod?
yes, i do. i have an old iPod video 30gb but i don't use it much anymore as i have an iPhone as well.

25. Is your bathroom filled with beauty stuff?
a few :)

26. What do you normally smell like?
idk. fresh? ahah

27. Do you like Carrie Underwood?
i like her enough. i loved her first album best. "jesus take the wheel', 'some hearts', etc are the BEST

28. Been to "The Vegas"?
where's 'the vegas'? i've been to vegas/las vegas!

29. How far away do you live from your parents?
i live / study in LA -- 2995 miles away.

30. Are you happy with your job?
i'm a student. :] so yes!

What happened to 31?

32. What did you get in the mail today?
wah wah wah. nothinggggg.

33. How do you like your steak cooked?
no meat, por favore. :P

34. Britney Spears...ready to have a nervous break down or just having fun?
i love her old stuff, and i feel sorry for her now.

35. What do you usually order at Taco Bell?
NOTHINGGG. ew. but i did eat a crunch wrap once.

36. Have you ever sat all the way thru Gone With the Wind?
no.

37. Have you ever been to Mt Rushmore?
no, but i'm pretty sure it'll be on my dad's list of things to do at some point.

38. Is it just me, or was The Marine (w/John Cena) a really horrible movie?
i dunno, was it?

39. where did this question go?

40. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)?
WYOMING. beautifulllllllllll lots of love <3

41. What is your favorite candle scent?
fruity, foody, earthy. .

42. Do you believe places can really be haunted?
maybe?

43. Do you smoke cigarettes?
noooooooooooooooooooooooooo ew ew ew . the84.org. thank you.

44. Have you ever been to NYC or LA?
BOTH. NUMEROUS TIMES. i basically live in LA, and with my close proximity to NYC, i have lots of friends who live there/study there/and my fam likes to go there?

45. How many states have you been to where all you saw was the airport?
tennessee, colorado, wisconsin i wanna say? so 3 ish. we fly direct as much as possible.

46. Do you think 50 questions is enough?
for now. i just wanted something rather interesting instead of "who'd you kiss? and the crap you see on facebook.

47. Are you currently planning a trip?
two-- my trip back to school. and my road trip that is yet to be determined when/if/where i'll go.

48. Is Ryan Seacrest gay?
i dunno. i feel like he's metro. but i also feel like it doesn't concern us!

49. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills?
no.

50. What do you think about space travel?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sign me up. zoom zoom zoom, make my heart go boom boom. supernova girllll <3

xoxo,
maithreyi

( I WAS BOREDDDDDDDDD)

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS.

so. i've been gone since i started that other blog.
...
and i haven't written in THAT either...

yeah. it's been a hell of a month.

A month filled with laziness, television, and the worst of a 17 and newly-18 year old girl.

yeah. IULIUS was not the best month for maithreyi :(

It started with going hiking and kayaking and other outdoorsy things.
then hanging out with friends.
studying here and there to satisfy the indian papa who would question, "why are you not reading your boooook?" (in the quintessential indian man accent. i love it. i have been mocking it every chance i get.)

dance practice most nights & all weekend.
leaving the daytime for LAZINESS. insatiable hunger & endless hours of "Full House" reruns & "Gilmore Girls".

& Then Silapathigaram happened. (http://www.visionaid.org) & raised enough money for a new Vision Aid center in India!
& That was a hit! My family loved it, I loved it, it had gone so so well. My friends had come to the show and enjoyed it, too, though they ALL left earlier than curtain call, much to my dismay.

& then I had a day with my mother, just relaxing and cooking before I turned 18 :)

On my 18th birthday, my closest friends in my hometown headed to the big city for a chinatown lunch/dinner (linner?!) & frolicking in Beantown :D We ate like there was no tomorrow. I ate golden triangles filled with delicious, with noodly something or other, topped with a pizza, ice cream, and then fried dough. on top of which i ate more when my family decided to venture to cheesecake factory. (5 rounds of appetizers, a large eggplant sandwich, and keylime mango cheesecake.)

& so at the end of my birthday, not only was every hunger in my body satiated, but so was the compelling sensation of nausea minus any of the actual event.

i will never eat that much. ever. ever. ever. again.

but aside from the food, the frolicking was a success! boston common was beautiful & our touristy pictures make for a nice remembrance of the day :]

and then began my spiral. though my birthday was only a week or so ago, i happily took to my throne of do-nothingness for the next 11 days. i did nothing till the vans came home carrying my mommy, upon which i went longboarding in an effort to fix the problem in a last ditch attempt...every night, conquering my fear of hills, yet not my ability to sail effortlessly down them just yet. (ah, to care so dearly about grammatical errors i wish i did. [yoda speak.])

& now, yesterday, i sprang from this nothingnessdoing valiantly, volunteering for an organization my mother knows and helping out a nonprofit-running lady. MY SPECIALTY! i went into the unknown waters that are south boston, and emerged victorious and proud. i have resolve!

and though i did nothing all summer, i believe that there is a story in it for the school year.

so i'm starting a new blog, and revamping the idea of the Activism one!

I believe in my sophomore year, there lies a great story and a journey to be followed.
I am going to tackle so much, I can hardly wait. :)
USC classes, Hindu Student Organization, Building Government, Drishti, Asli Baat, leadership frat rush, & a full load of engineering classes! I'm so excited.

It's going to be a year to remember. and it'll start just as soon as i get back from Yellowstone and pack all over again :D

xoxo,
Maithreyi

Be A REAL Activist!: Day #1: Making A Difference.

I created a new blog & wrote a new blogpost today at http://reyitheactivist.blogspot.com for my new summer project! Read it to find out how I developed it and why.

Be A REAL Activist!: Day #1: Making A Difference.: "(written on Wednesday, June 23, 2010) Two desi women are talking about my town, my choice of clothing (shorts won't KILL the world, just me ..."

Besides that, since the last time I wrote, I have been bored for a week, finished Calculus I with a pretty decent grade, I mastered the T bus and subway system, met up with my friends on multiple occasions, seen the biffles a half dozen times, graduated high school, missed my college buds, had fun at the banquet and the all-night party, did alright on my finals, scraped through Chem 105a, practiced tons of dance and had so much more to do, upgraded my phone software and am working on upgrading to a better phone as well! And I have been highly unsuccessful at finding a job. Hence the project! One thing I am a master at is blogging, and one thing I am improving is my vlogging. Now, I have motivation to do both.

So who's with me?! bookmark my new site, and let me know what you think of this project in the comments of the first post!
xoxo,
-Maithreyi

graduation day.

so as I sit here, a newly graduated Burlington High School senior, (or should I say Sen10r?), I reflect on all the school had to offer me throughout my time there. When I entered BHS, it was still the same structure on the outside, but the energy of the school has changed so drastically, and I feel so blessed to have been part of that change. My first year of BHS, Mrs. Hayes was still the principal, and though she was a great principal, she did run the school in the traditional end of the millennium approach. I was part of the panel that gave the student's voice on the nominations for her successor. Mr. Larkin was the first one we had met, and instantly we all had a good feeling and a sense that he was on the same page as us, even though we were so much younger and less educated than he. We felt like equals, but that he also held authority. I feel as though it is important to have both of these factors. He was so easy to relate to. He was our instant choice, and as he assumed his role as principal, the school's vibe changed. We had a principal who went to every event! I enjoyed seeing him engage with us. Not even my elementary principals had gone to the lengths that Mr. Larkin had. His passion for his students shows in his blog and the technological advances our school has seen. The netbooks, iPads, phones, and laptops are now ubiquitous, and allowed as part of furthering our education! It is so great to have a principal that trusts his students and uses our time in history to our advantage. It is due to the faculty, and the permission of Mr. Larkin and the constant support of the guidance department I was able to go through with this endeavor.


now this is what I need to send him! :

In October of 2008, I was a junior at Burlington High School. I was just about to take my PSATs, I was enrolled in an SAT preparation course at the Princeton Review, I was playing field hockey, dancing Indian classical dance, and doing as much volunteering as possible, on the path to a college I still had yet to define. Would I opt for Brown? Or was I more technically minded and should rather apply to MIT? Or should I follow my mother's urgings and just "go to Harvard!" ? I was trying so hard to figure out the answers to all these pressing questions (though they were not to affect me for another year) when a recruiting letter from USC arrived. I had not even heard of the school except for some vague references to football, and I was very surprised in receipt of it. It read along the lines of "Why not skip your senior year, and attend college instead?" Intrigued, I immediately sought out my parents, a computer, and began to learn all I could about this opportunity. That night, it was finalized; I would apply as a practice application. Why would I want to go to California? It was absurdly far away, and they do not need to know how much I wanted or did not want to attend. I printed out the application, and sought to meet with the Guidance Department immediately to begin the process and to gain approval. I was not going to enter the chance of attending without a guarantee that I would graduate.
Mrs. Leary was so kind and helpful. This was probably the fifth or so time I had been to her office in my time at BHS, and that was a lot for a new junior. She was enthusiastic, yet apprehensive about this application. I mean, how legitimate can it be? No one in this town had heard of this Resident Honors Program before, and there was little published about the statistics and such. But nonetheless, she was behind me 100 percent as was Mr. Larkin. With their approval, I began my application a full year earlier than my peers, in complete secrecy. I did not know what people would say, and I did not take the opportunity seriously at first. I wrote as though I would be interested in attending, but it was all about the process initially. As I completed my application, however, I found other students who were also applying and became quite close with them over College Confidential, a social networking site for highly motivated kids and parents talking about getting admission to college and such. Through connecting with them, I also learned more about this opportunity and the University of Southern California. I began to see myself amongst the palm trees, and imagined going to college away from my parents. After I had finished applying on Thanksgiving weekend, with only my SAT scores left, I started to waver and falter in my decision-making. I still really loved some of the opportunities I had lined up for my senior year, and the options of schools near home like Brown, Harvard, and MIT were tantalizing. Weighing the options was beginning to become difficult, but my father and mother kept me in line by reminding me that I had not been admitted... yet. However, when the end of January rolled around, I received a phone call from Pennelope von Helmolt discussing visiting the campus come April, and I knew that I had been admitted. Deciding became the one thing on my mind. Should I stay or should I go? My opinion switched by the day. One day I would be appalled if someone thought I would ever leave, and the next I could not wait for the plane ticket. The visit was absolutely necessary. Over spring break, I went to USC's Explore program where they give you as much information as possible about the school, and then I had a Resident Honors Program host show me around to her classes, and her dorm, and I spent the night. That visit clinched it at the time; I could not imagine myself anywhere better, and the fact that the host had given up the same schools I was looking at was comforting though the fact that more than half the students in the program were from California was not. I waited another week to decide before sending in my commitment deposit. My parents said I could still wait and decide, even up to August-- that is how unsure we all were of this decision.

Around the same time, I had gained acceptance into the Institute on Neuroscience program through the Center for Behavioral Neuroscience-- a spot that I accepted almost immediately. A chance to research for 5 weeks after 3 weeks of intensive training in neuroscience in Atlanta, Georgia. Living on my own! The joy that this brought me completely blew my reaction to my acceptance to USC--probably because my early college acceptance baffled and shocked my family and me; we did not know what to make of it.

I had taken my SATs again in May, and I had put down my housing deposit at USC the day before the scores came out. I had gotten a 2230. A very formidable score -- much, much better than my December ones for which I had stressed so much. I hardly studied at all for the May one. This again put my family into a state of doubt & questioning what could be if I would stay, but I was adamant that whatever decision I made would be the best for me.

After my internship in Atlanta, I had a few weeks at home with my family before embarking on my voyage to college. I began packing and worrying if I had made the right decision, but never once did I question my readiness. I was independent. I had lived for two months in an apartment with two juniors in college, cooking for myself and taking care of myself. I had gone to live and learn in college dorms for five summers for three weeks each, adding up to a full semester in college in and of itself. Leaving my dad on Move-In Day was not emotional at all in my excitement and anticipation of my life at USC. I had already begun to meet extraordinary men and women and was having the time of my life. Over the days and weeks, I enjoyed my humanities classes, writing and rewriting paper after paper about the Odyssey and Othello and other great literature and worked hard at my science classes attending labs and lectures and midterms. I even took a television production class! It took what I had learned at BHS through BCAT and put it into even more application. I edited a television show every week as my assignment and worked on the crew every night. All the while, I was very involved in USC's Ultimate Frisbee teams, Interfaith Council, Fight On for Darfur!, Hindu Student Organization, and our Building Government. I went on two trips to Catalina Island; I attended a majority of our fabled football games, enjoying them so much more than I ever enjoyed watching a game on a screen, and participated in many of USC's cultural offerings like working on a paper at 3am at Leavey Library, and 12am trips to Trojan Grounds, our convenience store --both of which are open 24/7 and longboarding--riding a longer version of a skateboard that is built for transport rather than tricks that I found I cannot live without. After classes had ended, and a stressful two weeks of paper writing and a final, I ended my first semester on the Dean's List! Coming home at seeing everyone at BHS' Holiday Traditions felt utterly bizarre because although I had gone through all these changes, Burlington High had not changed all that much! Technologically, we had more netbooks about, and freedom to use cell phones, and of course there is the new Improv Club "Idle Hands", but the energy, if anything, just became more palpable. Everything was enhanced since the last time I had seen it. The Amnesty International club I had founded with Brinda Patel had raised new heights with 30 Hour Famine & even attended the regional meeting of the actual organization. Our service was better, our spirit, stronger, and the smiles, broader. It felt as though while I was working to my potential, so was all of Burlington!

I returned to USC for the spring semester nervous as my classes were harder than last semester. I encountered my first scheduling conflicts and add/drop requests. I ended up taking biology and chemistry, but also statistics for psychology as well as Anthropology: Culture, Gender, and Politics of South Asia which easily became my most interesting and liked class. I formed a great rapport with the professor Erin Moore, and I loved the other students and the material. Ultimately, I performed well in class and I had become more involved in the LA area, going to movies at LA Live!, and shopping at Beverly Center, and eating dinner at The Grove LA's Farmer's Market. My freshmen friends and I found LA less intimidating and were more confident about using public transportation together. On campus, I also enjoyed concerts like Bruno Mars and T-Pain as well as the Fray and Cold War Kids. My second semester was successful in that I had finally settled into USC, and Los Angeles is as much my home as Burlington is. I miss my friends there, and I cannot wait to go back. All in all, I may have missed AP Calculus and English, and I may not have gotten the chance to take Leadership and Social Change or Media Production, and I might not have gotten a chance to participate in the theater opportunities we had this year, or some senior events, but I am still very proud to consider myself a Burlington High School Devil as well as a USC Trojan. I am so thankful for what this school has given me, in support, friends, and education. I can see that the future for Burlington shines ever brighter. Good luck, and if any other students have questions or comments feel free to email me at mshankar@usc.edu.
xoxo,
~ maithreyi

you, me...aur ek treasure hunt/cup chai/pasta roma/coldstone/movie(s) :P

today was a jam-packed day.

at first, i just did my normal saturday routine. get up, shower, eat a waffle, chill.

then i helped mush with longboard configuration/debate/mentoring lol.

then i went off on the association of indian students' treasure hunt. which was an epic waste of time, but somewhat fun. but resulted in my longboard being @ PARKSIDE APTS : (
it was funnnnn. but bleh.

then i went to tro gro for some milanos and creamice with my twinzy. <3
then chilled for a bit before getting good seats for culture show 2010!
which was pretty good! the emceeing was interesting... very reminiscent of the mismatch between mouth and body of emcees in my past. look super indian, voice of a white person. very oreo, but the writing worked with it, mostly.
and everything somewhat fit into the story... :)
i liked the bhangra stuff best because it was best put together. the classical fusion was alright, but would've been better with a more bhangra-y costume, but with jazz and bharatnatyam moves within it. the supertraditional plus super NONtraditional didn't work the way they put it together. the kathak was alright too, but i just dislike kathak all around because it just LOOKS lazy. it ain't, but it looks it. the spinning and the weird hands that look deformed. bleh. the only kathak i'll appreciate is the plate dance kathak : )

& Asli Baat was as good as always. It's kinda sad, I can almost sing along to their songs because they perform the same ones everywhere. but they stopped performing Blackbird. and that was their best arrangement? weird. I am definitely auditioning next semester.

I am so excited for next semester. I can't wait for engineering to finally work out. I am GOING TO GET A GOOD GRADE ON TUESDAYS MIDTERM. & the final. I am going to make this work. I can't wait to get programming done for Hindu Student Organization. I can't wait to organize dancers in SOME way maybe for Diwali if not Laasya too? I am just realllllly excited to do something beyond what I'm doing now. Fill up my days. Drink lots of coffee. Live the life of a busy college student. Hopefully with a car. I can't wait to be empowered with an apartment next semester. And freedom. Less time, but more opportunity and creation. I am looking to a new day filled with more confidence. I feel like the beginning of the school year is a blank slate. Especially in college, cuz yeah, your friends KNOW you, but you can always make friends! and freshmen don't know ANYONE and feel pretty damn special whenever they meet and become friends with someone older. at least that's what i felt this year. (and the technicality that I'm not OLDER than anyone coming next year really is NOT important... :P ) I'm hoping that I can befriend some likeminded youngins and go out more next year. Carpe noctem more. Maybe do things I would not necessarily have thought to do before, but should try before I dismiss. Like clubbing. I mean, clubbing for the under 21 set means dancing. and scia goes to SO many club parties. it'd be fun to do that with some friends next year. it'd be fun to do any of the 18+ things! finalllllly. july 20th 2010 cannot come soon enough! i cannot wait. i feel like college is more open to trying things than burlington. no one in burlington that i am reallllly close to, namely ninks or k would everrr consider clubbing or an 18+ concert or something. i think that my restlessness this year at that expense brings out more of an urge to try these things than typical. but i really sympathize with others who view that everything should be tried to some extent before rejection. every experience barring the intake of controlled or illegal substances namely smoke of any kind, drugs, and alcohol. (hookah stands on that weird line between, but i remain on the against hookah side for now. but going to a hookah bar at some point? not ruling it out yet...)

and maybe i'll shoot for bhangra fusion next year. do some tuttin'. haha
i would suck at that. maybe classical fusion? maybe i'll try for more than one because i'm not a BAD dancer and whatever i'm not good at, they can cut me out of.
and maybe the yet unnamed nonexistent bharatanatyam group would want to take part like AB did this year?

but yeah, super psyched for next year. and what that holds in the realms of possibility. it's so tantalizingly close.

but you know what's closer?
finals! and before it, the disney trip that is somewhat unplanned and somewhat planned.

the unofficial official date is may 1st. i reallllllllllllly want to go! 2 WEEKS FROM NOW. holy 5#!+ that's sooooon. but i want to experience space mountain ONCE before i leave here for the entire summer. but maybe we should go on a monday? less lines? friday afternoon post classes? idk. maybe the lines on saturday would be worth it? it's all up in the air. but i reallllllly want to go. i haven't wanted to go to disney this much since i begged mummy and daddy in 3rd grade.

which brings me to something else -- a lot of my life as a little child was copycatting. i was obsessed with being like my friends because obviously, from my head to my wittle toes, i was not. i wanted desperately to want what they wanted, like what they liked, do what they did. i cheated on nearly ALL my 1st grade spelling tests. it was WAY too easy to peek. I felt really bad after, but didn't really stop because i felt like I either needed to check my answers or not let my teacher or my parents down.

it didn't stop at spelling tests. I copied my friends' favorite COLORS. yeah. I couldn't choose my own favorite colors. and to this day, i have settled on green or greenish blue as a favorite almost by default. i have a lot more orange things like this macbook case/my wallet/my favorite scarf. but my favorite color's green? idk. i guess it's orange, but i never really knew how to pick my favorite color...
I couldn't pick my favorite tv show. I didn't want to be judged based on it, so I listened closely to what other kids said, and repeated or chose something similar. I was so manipulative. I remember thinking these things, but not quite so articulately. it was in the back of my mind.
My creative stories were not as creative. my biographies were as similar as could be to my friend's. i was desperate. in second grade, i wrote about disney land even though i went to disney land 2 years prior and had gone to india just that previous summer. India would have been a more telling tale, a more intimate and cultural talk for a 7 year old to write about. something awesome and creative. but no, i wanted to write about disney to feel as though I was the normal American child experiencing normal American things. A lot of the time, I was the lone Indian in my class because in grade school, you only have class with at most 25 kids and it's such a shuffly mixbag, no brown people ended up together.

I think this may have fostered my American complex at that early age. I had experienced a lot, and I didn't know how to deal. I had shifted from India to Singapore and then Singapore to the United States. My pleas for Indian companionship were clear, but I looked to be a well-adjusted, smart kid. Almost TYPICAL within a few years of coming to the US. Yeah, I danced ,but that wasn't something for me as much as something I did for mom and stuff at home. It was just another part of life, not an event in its own right. It made me feel more awkward if anything. When I got to middle school and finally saw more brown people and interacted with them it was less of a hassle. I didn't know what to do really still though because I had become such a mirror of what was around me, I was blind to myself. In high school, that was shattered and tarnished, and I had tunnel vision. It was so unbalanced, sometimes crystal clear and sometimes hazy. this expectation to be a certain way followed me a long way. up to the beginning of college, give or take a few weeks to a few months of summer. In college, there is no more mirror. I can be who I am. It's all part of me. My undeniable Americanness married with my own brand of Indian mixes to make me. I have friends who are not at all Indian and friends who have come from India to study here. I feel as though if I were to write a story today, I wouldn't sneak a peek at my 'best friend''s paper in search of a topic, I would look deep in myself and write the best that comes to mind. If it's liked, it's liked. if it's not, it's not. Yes, it matters, but that shouldn't define where or what comes from it.

a lot of people have these balance issues, and they do become resolved in college. where do i stand? what does spirituality mean to me? how indian am i? how white am i? how am i staying true to my roots?
everything is answered, but in a different blend for each person. and what seems bitter to one, is richly sweet to another. that's why i can't knock on people's individual encoding-- my own is so different that i cannot expect another to understand. i'm finally content with where i stand, even if i have lost some friends from the past. i feel like my past is no longer a part of me in a burdenable way anymore. I do not feel obligation towards them as I have not been true with them in many cases. i have been putting on a façade for the longest time. i have changed my own values in the presence of them in the name of acceptance. i have undergone worse peer pressure than others in atypical ways for odd things and almost rubbish. i have had tumultuous relations with my parentals for years for the ups and downs that my so-called friends have given me along the years. but now, i'm at peace. and i hope you are too.


xoxo,
riff raf.

studying.

studying.

studying.

studying.

student+dying = studying.

I LIKE studying.

but i'm hungry. and exhausted.

and i like biology.

but i'm fed up with rote memorization.

i like diagrams

but i'm done with trying to draw them.

i like notetaking

but i implore you not to bore me.

: /

youtube's at a standstill.

so's this blog.

will be back. after tomorrow.

maybe happy, maybe sad.

: )

xoxo,

maithreyi

brick by boring brick

so today, i went to the library with just my book, pens, ipod, and phone. I barely glanced at my phone, took pages of color-coded notes with my numerous, variegated pens, and read an entire chapter of biological systems in under 2 hours. not bad. it's amazing how productive one can be without a computer.

but with a computer too! i love this new template of mine. obviously, it's taken from the creator who gets credit on the bottom, but with numerous edits of font, picture, and colors from ME :D i love coding, and i miss it, so whenever I get to manipulate some, i'm a happy nerdette.

in other news, "will grayson, will grayson" arrived today! right on time / maybe a day early! and so did my wavecams. I read about 6 chapters into WG, WG and like it enough so far. (i am not used to david levithan's style, so i'm partial to john green's WG for now.) ironically, levithan's non-use of capitalization bothers me a lot within a book. reminds me that i should capitalize. But this looks weird to me for blogging; so I don't know.

wavecam required dissembly and assembly of my original torpedo 40, or gnarls 'gnarly' barkley, as i've dubbed him from an early age. the dissembly was EASY with the hex key that they thankfully included as per my request. :) the removing of the locktab took SO long for me to understand. and the black grease is still underneath a few of my fingernails. (i haven't figured out cleaning that much yet...) and i found that my wave cams weren't really broken, just ungreased. (gonna invest in some white lithium grease when i get home) but i installed the new, freshly greased ones and reassembled. and it rides like a dream. much more sturdy than it has been for a few months. feels like a new board, minus the wheels (which are on their way + bearings! yay!)

STILL waiting on my all caps bundle... minus t-shirt. : /
what baffles me is that WG,WG was ordered maybe saturday and it's here, while my all caps which i ordered two weeks ago, still isn't. yes, yes--sticker troubles, but that doesn't make up for the waitinggg in anticipation while knowing that its climbing on itunes and everyone else already has their copy.

BME is still a go-- meeting with advisor tomorrow. (that rhymed!)

that's all. please comment letting me know what you think of this blog, my vlogs, me in general, etc. :)

xoxo,
maithreyi

valia/balia

so here's my first vlog.

and testimony that it isn't false, here's detailed account of yesterday.

so i woke about 10am, took a shower, met D for WAFFLESSS my fave part of weekend mornings, had a great chat with her while eating them, and then waited for N to get up and at em. Finally, we traipsed around the perimeter of SC's campus looking for buses, waiting for buses that apparently would never show. Then, giving up, went to the Lot for a refresher of wallaby yogurt before trying again. we took the hollywood bus, and found that we only needed ONE and itd take us directly there! success! there, we saw a falafel place and Yogurtland on our way in. then we walk into the best most uppity but well put together set of stores this side of awesome, and went to town. first looking for D's shoes, then looking for N's bracelet, and along the way, i got some sweet jean leggings (that I hope stretch outtt :[ ) and then once done with our purposeful shopping ate falafel to reenergize, and then perused some other stores. i got this teal and black and white magazine print dress that D and the store lady told me i HAD to buy. then felt this high from buying something so nice and serendipitously and shopped a lottt, not necessarily buying, but looking quite contently. then, it was time for yogurtland, and maneuvering to downtown for school : ) where we watched project runway in my room and chilled. then departed our separate ways.

but yeah, i'll blog here more. and vlog there more.

it's VALIA and BALIA FO' ME : vlog a lot in april, and blog a lot in april! :D

xoxo,

reyi

don't unplug me or just shut me down.

I LOVE how much i vacillate between ideas. Legitimately, I don't have the same ideas from one day to the next. Yesterday, I was praising Wellesley, and today, on a whim off a conversation with a friend, I start checking out Viterbi. I'm like an academic courtesan, courting any and all of the options on my academic menu. Theoretically, being a TO and viterbi student, I'd have it alllll. Top 10 engineering school in the country, and top humanities program where I will figure out how to articulate myself and acquaint myself with a variety of topics.

I found out I have taken all the bio and chem prereqs and would be on track to graduate, probably. [things holding me back i can remedy in summer school.] & because lots of the reqs are 2 or 3 credits, I would most probably finish on time.

hmmm. seriously mulling this over. going to figure out meeting an advisor next week (when sched permits it :P )

BUT THIS OPTION is something i was seriously considering in 9th and 10th, before discovering neuro. and with the neuroengineering concentration, i can have the best of both worlds and a definite career.

ranjani auntie was onto something suggesting olin for me :P

and i think being an engineer legitimizes me. makes me seem less stupid for coming here.

and bme's are ubiquitous in this global age of biotechnology.

job offers and ideas and opportunity lie everywhere. one just has to seek it.

and grad school isn't impossible with it. (even for neuro) .

i think i'm going to go for it.

i just have to work tons harder though.

just getting by will NOT suffice.

and speaking of not getting by--

THAT"S (getting by) ALL I DID TODAY. my brain refused to concentrate.

ive been up all night for almost zero purpose. i got a rudimentary equations sheet done, not even my TAKE HOMEEE : (

this is going to be a very very very long day.

what i DID get done was getting amphetamine abec 7 bearings, cambria 62mm 82a duro wheels from 3dm, skatetool, and wave cams to FIX UP GNARLS BARKLEYYY :D

i miss the tightness i had when i just got him, and this will hopefully rectify how it's been riding lately. and in the last week i have become an aware longboarder--finally learning maintenance and keys to good longboarding hygiene. [changing bearings if rain, etc.]

can't wait to put it together and have it ride nice and smooth : )

(and look brand new with sick new wheels :D)

and hopefully the skatetool works as planned. i think it's the same one a longboarding club person used to "tighten" my trucks (kingpin)

one thing that worries me are the scratches it's accumulated... but i think that's natural.

i'll def consider upgrading to S8s or a new board in a year. [spring semester next year....lots of decisions around then]

and i cannot wait to ride around boston on it. my boston walks were so serene and slow and peaceful, but riding on a longboard? exponentially increase the awesomeeeee of boston. speed, agility, i can be across harvard bridge in like a hop, increasing longboarding's exposure and awesome along the way. ; )

and with mom's promises of driving to boston with her, i can definitely roam boston like a playground with my board for at least a stint of a week! :D

yep, definitely one thing i DONT want to give up ever.

longboarding made me and makes me brave.

:O)

xoxo

maithreyi

hum hallelujah. :)

DANCE DRAMA IS A GO-GO! :D

("wake me up before you go-go"...haha)

i'm in a weird mood.

slept kinda sorta late ishhh last night and looking at an almost all-nighter tonight ,most likely.

tomorrow's going to SUCKKK

i have a chem midterm which i don't know how to study for/don't want to study for even though I NEED the good grade studying would give me.

and i just realized i didn't bring my calc for my self-said all night study seshhion.

bleh.

not in the mood. thank god i got my anthro done with already. less stress.

more chem!

& i'm thinking about kinda sorta maybe possibly hmmm .... transferring to WELLESLEY! : O

there are tons of pros, and tons of cons.

we'll see. i'm looking to definitely explore it. [visit alone in the summer on one of those jaunts with the car ALONEEE. i'm totally excited for the driving practice mom's promised me. and the possible car! haha.]

i'll put a detailed procon list when i have the time to realllly think this through, but for now check out this picture! that's like reason enough to pack up and go back home! hahah. [it's not really funny, is it?]

the thing is, wellesley is the type of school i would have seen myself at if it weren't for rhp.

a liberal arts school with strong science. it's very much a school in the mold of brown and yale, but just with all girls. and their amazing cross-reg program with MIT gives me perks that i always wished for when reading the MIT admissions blogs... like an mit email id! and going to MIT, ish. ; )

the all girls thing would also put me in a similar situation as ninks, if she chooses simmons! so we could be like in the same consortium and things, i think. [i don't really know what's up with all that in ma... haha]

& talking to sandra will help put this in perspective, so i'm going to hold off on any definitive decisions until probably july.

...back to chemistry. but just felt like putting up SOMETHING.

:D

xoxo,

rafiki

feeling uninspired, but happy?

I feel so uninspired today. chemistry is so dry.

and boring.

and meh.

i can do most of the problems from the practice test.

yeah, that's not a good sign, but it's better than nothing.

and i have four hours plus lecture to review tomorrow.

i can do it.

right now, though, i need sleep.

g'night.

and i'm going to start blogging more substantially from now onwards.

to dance or not to dance?

So.
I am really emotional right now.


This summer, I really wanted to kick back, no plans, do whatever in India, soul-search.
Figure out if what i've wanted for so long is indeed what i still want.
and if not, fix it.

and now, i'm being offered this opportunity that i probably never will be able to take again, if i want what i want as i wanted in the past.
dancing in a dance drama. not just dancing it alone, but with my guru (and others). something i had longed to do and regretted not doing for years and years.

if i take dance and india as mutually exclusive--neither can happen WITH the other--which do i choose?

india has been a long time coming as my mom and brother have gone in the last year, but I haven't. everyone misses me and hates me for not going last year. and if i prolong that, they'll just end up forgetting me or thinking i'll never come.

but dance has been a long time coming too! this is the first year i have NO plans that can interfere, yet. nothing holding me back from leaping in. except of course mom and dad's gripes about india. mom today brought up two points: how can i let dance dictate when I can go to india? and it will be raining if i go in july.
SO WHAT? it nearly ALWAYSSSS is rainy when i make it to india.
yes, my break is early enough that i can go through june, in theory. but what for if i am missing something that i will regret missing.

I always will beat myself up about missing Dancing: Nature's Art. and not being around this year and learning Savitri. and not taking advantage of my location and learning all the dance that i could have in all my years in burlington. So why not amend that? Why not do something that I will have to show for? Why not have some goals? It could cure me of this purposelesness I have felt in the past. It can cure me of all that pain of not getting a dance group here and that loneliness of losing something that once gave me such a feeling of accomplishment. i feel like i don't know myself anymore because as soon as my arangetram was over and a long time after, i could define myself as a dancer, and in a few short months, i lost that CONNECTION. i really want to reconnect with it. and having such goals and a due date and a reason to dance over and over and over would just improve me. revitalize me. make me go to india skinny! [if they both could occur, that is.]

right now, i guess, things are up to me.

we'll see which way this cookie crumbles.
-maithreyi

stress. life. and coping.

...
so life this semester has been rollin'.
after a bumpy start, i pulled through my first midterms alright.
i survived in all my classes unscathed.
then kinda took a snooze for the next two to three weeks.
and then-- the midterms strike again! :(
i have another statistics midterm on thursday. and i have not remotely started studying. tomorrow's going to be an adventure.

on other news, i loveeee my friends! :)
mansi = <3
and so do daksha and deepthi and seenu.
i like all the people i've been meeting so far, and i miss all the people i havent seen in a while too.
overall, i feel like i have somewhere to turn when things get hard. and that's something i'm really thankful for because i didn't have that first semester.

vhs health is inconvenient and i hate it. but sometimes you have to do things you hate for the greater good. :P
im graduating. cap and gown. and walking. ;)

so all in all, life is alright.
i'm excited about some things, and just want to get through others.

like a normal teenager. B)


IM SO EXCITED MOMMY"S COMING ON FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D