i'm in the middle of practicing my dancing for arangetram.
it's june 8th.
i can't wait, but practice is getting so nerveracking.
and i AM superpassionate about it NOW. but i don't feel strong, if that makes any sense.
like i go through the motions and emotions and everything comes out nicely. but i feel disjointed mentally from one to the next. and if i try to be strong it comes out better, but i dunno how to convey to my brain to be strong or think strong all the time. *sigh*.
and i can't stop writing poems or half-poetic thoughts about last summer.
esp about certain people. aghhh.
i wish i had had more time.
new year's is coming up... all i can think about is dance and mit.
and how somehow those two things are inextricably linked though they aren't.
and i keep skulking the mit ea and deferred as though i am among them when i won't be for another two years.
i can't wait to be there, though. somehow, i feel like everything since andover has made me a better person and this time i'll come out on top.
for now, all i can do is dance.
=)
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