i don't wanna go to school. yes, it's true. i wanna go to college to get some knowledgee

i don't wanna go to school. yes, it's true. i wanna go to college to get some knowledgee.


so, spring break didn't do anything for me learning wise.
i didn't learn a single thing from a book.
i didn't even read a book.
at all.
i learned about myself though.
i learned from within.
to not judge.
to look inward, not outward.
to forgive and forget the past.
and a lot of stuff that the school perspective never allows for.

i learned that sweating is alright.
and almost dying in a car accident is exhilarating so long as one does not die or get injured.

and that i really need to focus on the present when all i want is the future. and all i do is hate the past.

i love the future.
because it seems like i can do anything-- but i have a goal.
so it seems like i'll reach it.
but then what?

that's like the weird part about goals and college and the next step.
what next?

cuz i THINK right now all i want is to either stay home or go out to cali.
[go big or go home mentality]
but i'm rethinking.

my one and only dream ever since i started reading the mit blogs was "hey, mit is close. it's sick. i'm going." but now, i'm rethinking. i'm like-- mommy and daddy would never be able to dish out that kinda change.
maithreyi can't make it.
maithreyi will make it but then fail out and be miserable
maithreyi will make it, do well, but be miserable like at bhs.
maithreyi won't make it, and will only make it to community college and be miserable.
maithreyi could make it, go somewhere else, and have the time of her life.

so yeah. conflicting thoughts.
but my favorite one, which i hope still happens?

maithreyi makes it, makes mit blogger, makes course 9, enjoys her life, goes to grad school and lives happily ever after!

:]
i wish.

but what about the ivies?
what about more feasible less expensive means to the same end?

what about life?

:/
maithreyi