i can't waitt . =]

okay . so the checklist is as follows ...

ssat - \
interview- \
school report-\
math review-\
english review-
essay & short answers-
parental part-
recc form -


yeahh . so major app stuff not completely done . but my essay IS . =] & i have a hard copy of the short answerss . i just have to write them on the sheet . & i need a copy of my writing . graded . et cetera . so not to far to go . =] i wanna get it done before the visit thing tho . that may be hard , but i'll rise up to the challengee . =]

interview !

the interview went SO well today.
you know some things and days that just flow , and you feel like you worried for nothing ?
this was one of those things .
One thing led to the next , my whole life story lay in front of my interviewer in the matter of minutes .
things fit together .
my life , which always feels hectic, and seldom put together , it's all working out .
i HAVE get into that town .
it's so amazing . i fit . my life fits . i'll be =] foreverrrrrrrr .
i can't wait .
it's gonna happen this year, if ever .
I'm sure of it .
x3 , reyi

we mainly talked of dance and flute . but mainly dance because that seemed to be a connector .
we talked of change and how i'm different as a person, and how I could bring that through in the writing . We talked , and it seemed like I definitely was talking more , but that the conversation fit together . i'm so happy it did , too. =]

interview !

the interview went SO well today.
you know some things and days that just flow , and you feel like you worried for nothing ?
this was one of those things .
One thing led to the next , my whole life story lay in front of my interviewer in the matter of minutes .
things fit together .
my life , which always feels hectic, and seldom put together , it's all working out .
i HAVE get into that town .
it's so amazing . i fit . my life fits . i'll be =] foreverrrrrrrr .
i can't wait .
it's gonna happen this year, if ever .
I'm sure of it .
x3 , reyi

me . my self . my dreams .

okay . i have been acting very blase about taking the ssat . i need to do well . i want to do well . i HAVE to do well . i hope i do . i just have to work even harder now . =[
i need this to be ultrahigh . i have to get in to andover . if i don't , my life will be messed for the rest of my life . =[










ANDOVER is the only dream i have . =]
then , harvard / oxford / jhu / cornell .... all waiting , arms wide open , for ME . =]
yeah , dorky . but it'll give me a life . =]

zomg . grades

omg . grades close like this week .
my rundown =
musical theater = A / 95 . which sucks cuz it's a 3.8 gpa wise .
latin = 95 .
gym . = i d c .
us history = i'd imagine somewhere between a 96 - 97 .
english . = wicked high . probably around 97-98 .
bio = 93 . amazing in that class .
geometry = 95 .
so i'm doing 'kay .
not amazing in my book , but okay .
gpa count =
musical theater = 3.8
latin =4.0
gym = don't know . or care .
us history = 4.0
english = 4.0
bio = 4.0
geometry =4.0
thank god no A - 's .
average = 3.94 .
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !
take that , suckers . =]
i rulee .
definitely in high honors if i keep THAT up .
edit :
musical theater : B+ . translates to a 3.6 gpa . f- i mean , truck .
latin = 95 . 4
us history = 99 . yeah , i'm surprised too .
english = 99 . yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh . i'm happy .
bio = 93 .
geometry = 95 ? something like that .
but gpa still = a resounding 3.94 . x333333333333333333
i hate middleton .
a lot .

PotterCast . = LOVE

PotterCast has been the best .
They were the first thing i ever listened to on my iPod . i didn't know i could've listened to them without one , and i missed out . but i listened from ep 17 on .
they are so coool .
i was such a goober, i actually DID listen to them during new year's with their leaky mug . =]
it was nice .
i caught on to john's crazy jokes , sue's hufflepuffiness & melissa's calm , cool sarcasm .
they brighten my week .
& the commentary track for movie 4 ?
priceless .
=]
so now , as I wait for the new ep ,
i'm reminiscing about the times i've listened to PotterCast . esp New York in August . that was really amazing . i remember my parents trying to push me to talk to melissa and john . & i missed my first opportunity because i was too starstruck. they were there . right there . people i listen to EVERY week . it was surreal . because for the first time, they could listen and talk to me . :P
needless to say , i got over it and jabbered on later . took pictures, got hugs , stickers . it was a memorable experience .
& i realized they were just people . people who loved potter as much as (probably more than...) i do !
so after new york , i started going on the lounge more . visiting leaky daily . becoming a more rabid fan . out of choice . i decided i needed an outlet , and fanfiction was going dead in my head , so leaky could be it .
so now i'm part of a reading group on the lounge . haven't posted a lot yet , but it's a start .
& it's all thanks to PotterCast that i'm involved .
thanks , PotterCast . =]

reminisce .

i just went through the archives, and reread what i've posted . Wow, i've changed in half a year . I actually cared too much about being in a group for music . I actually pondered about songs and which to sing for an audition. Wow. I wouldn't even think much of that now, which is a big change in itself.

todayy .

hmmm . today was fun . i guess .
if you like messed up fun-ness .
i enjoyed school okayy .
yesterday i got my costume .
hip punk pirate .
no joke .
( that's what it said on the package )
everything has spikess :P

SOOOOOO funny .
belt, bracelet , choker .
skulled shirt & bandana .
needed to buy a sword tho =]
& using my mommy's stilleto (sp?) boots .
xD
soo funn tho .
i can't waitt .

tomorrow will be fun .
really fun .
x3
`reyi .
dunno what else to writee . =]

high school is so not cool . xP

omg . i'm so tired .
my weekend itself was tiring .
i haven't even gotten my costume for halloween yet . =[
what should i be ? dunno at ALL .

friday :
school . uh , yeah . tiring as usual .
then NEC from 5 - 8.30 . only cuz my parents are stupid & suck at driving to boston .
i x3 them . :P
then we went to this awesome vegan chinese restaurant in brighton . =]
i loved it . food = yum .
but i was soooo tiredd .

saturday :
dance . 7.30 - 9 .
yeah , you're calling me lame .
but try this indian dance after like less than 7 hours of sleep then talk .
& a couple of hmwrk hours later , flute class .

then out ? i thinkk so . we went to furniture world . & bobs . got a new kitchen table that's coming like a little past or earlier than thanksgiving . can't remember... but bob's has amazing refreshments .
so that was dinner . ( candy , ice cream , popcorn , cookies , coffee , lemonade . so unhealthy . and untasteful after about 2 of everything )

sunday : saw man of the year after 342545 hours of huddling w/ my heater and doing hmwrk .
then got home & did even more hmwrk . =[
then yesterday happened . & i have all reason to be tired .
and dead :P

PotterCast . = LOVE

i love PotterCast . it really gets me through my week . when they didn't do the show for a few weeks , i really got crazy . i went back & downloaded some of my favorite PotterCast moments . like #41 with alex from the remus lupins . & 27 with mr. blood . =]
it really made me happy , but nothing is better than a new, fresh episode .
i recall that i listened to ep 51 (i think) once on a HIKE with my family .
i like hiking alright , but when i was listening to the interview with matt lewis, the hiking seemed to go much faster .
it was so fun , laughing all the way to the top of the mountain @ john , sue , & melissa . =]
when sue was talking about meeting jason isaacs and being unable to comprehend that , i went immediately back to the live leaky mug in new york this summer when i couldn't
process meeting them . really , they are normal people , but you get used to just listening to them and laughing at them like old friends but meeting them just made it that more real .
their hilarity really is a break from high school every sunday night. i love listening to them whenever i can .

thank you , PotterCast , for making my busy life more bearable !!

update on life . =]

well , life is going well so far . sure , there was some pains . i had to quit soccer to make room for the massive stuff i have going right now . i'm doing baroque family ensemble every friday & flute on saturday . both require practice . then dance which i still have to figure out where i stand on . then i'm studying like a fierce hound for my school subjects & just to try to get outta this podunk town . & then clubs . which are all for fun . =] and to learn . something .
i can't believe it tho . my first real big tests were today and they were sooo easy . people always say , oh, high school tests are sooo hard compared to middle school. i guess those chem quizzes worked cuz i found bio to be cake . =]
and ss was a joke . a joke of a test . oh please . it was sooo fun .
i'm really enjoying life & time with friends who have changed, yes . but that's what growing is all about, finding people that you connect with . and i think i lost my connection with my old friends . at least it feels that way sometimes .
i'm sooo happy that i'm getting back into writing tho . my essays have already improved even tho i haven't written anything substantial in forever . i'm so happy my vocab is growing . =]
yeah , big nerd time .
speaking of which , i was sooo surprised no one asked my about what was WRITTEN on my CTY shirt which i wore to school today . yeah , sure they asked about it but not what actually was written on it . xP soo funny tho . that shirt comforts me to no end . knowing that all those ppl appreciated me . knew me . liked me . =] confidence boost whenever i'm down . xD

well, other than that, i don't have much .
i'm making some new friends but it'll take time for them to be better .
& i haven't COMPLETELY ditched my old friends . i still talk to them . mainly taylor, bridget, katie & carolyn . but the connection is still there . kinda . =[ i kinda don't care either .

but i'm having so much fun being on clubs .

& being part of the unofficial indian crew .
they are sooo funny . =]

XOXOx
r
e
y
i

high school

high school is soo cool. xP
omg . i'm a highschooler now . i have essays due , projects , honors , and a long lunch period . sooo weird .
i'm already planning to join debate , sci oly & drama club !
musical theater - is funnn
latin ii - is LATiN like 7th grade . which i lovee .
free - is good to study stuff in .
us history - is all just talking . which is like mmk .
language arts - is like woah , fun .
biology - is hardd , man . but it's wicked awesome . & i'm learning .
geometry - is like YES . it's simpler than last year ( right now ) & i'm ahead .
friend-wise - my old friends all ditchedd me . so i'm making new all indian friends !!
=]
i'm having fun so far .
♥

omg. high school.
=0
high school is coming in like what? 2 days.
have i finished my ss summer reading? uh, no.
have i managed to lose the sched? yeahh. orientation...
thank god they give me another one.
& that i posted mine on here.
=P
i'm so excited but i bet i'll get lost.
just a hunch. i'll get lost.
at least first day. but i'm gonna remember yisu's points. stay cool cuz the first day don't count anyways.
drama will be fun. so will sci oly. & debate.

the last couple days have been horrid. ish. i've been horrible to my fam. but i can't help it. i'm stuck all the time either in the house or with them outside. it's sooo boring. but i know they were ticked when i was showing signs of hate. & i get it.
but i also have feelings too!
but at least school is starting and relieving me of doom, dispair and frustration.
that will be fun.
geometry last... dad says that's not good. cuz my brain won't be in it.
=[
and bio is close second. i'm in for a hard year. cuz my first three classes are basically a sham according to dad. cuz it's like musical theater, latin, & gym. what am i gonna need for all that? my latin book, script and gym clothes. and that's it. or homework and study stuff for study hall. but aside from that, there's no heavy books or anything. i lucked out. but then 4th is us history. & that's some weirdo ginormous book. then 5th is lang arts. or "structured language" or whatever. it's still language arts. that's gonna be fun. a lotta kids i know are in that class. which i guess is good. or bad. depends on how you look at it. ( practicing my debate outlook. LOL) then it's bio & geometry. =]
i kinda like having my honors classes last. cuz it's like get the easy stuff outta the way and saves time for the fun stuff.
we'll see tho, once school starts who's having the last laugh.
(i really hope i don't get lostttt)
♥
x reyi

x3

hah. today was fun.
boring. but that's as always.
=P
listened to muggle/potter casts && then lounged. painted. etc.
then went to walmart & got loads of clothes.
&& a mic.
so i sent in a voicemail to pottercast!! it was a bad voicemail cuz i didn't think about what i said, i just said it.
=]
& then i got my high school updated schedule that has my teachers & stuff on it.
1st= 833 musical theater
middleton, J.
191
2nd= 444 latin ii
debellis, R.C.
134A
3rd= gym/ free. gym- mon/wed.
4th= 117 us history
carey, j.a.
215
5th= 014 struct lang
ford, a.
217A
6th= 324 biology
wood, c.s.
163
7th= 216 geometry
sykes, j.
250

&& that is my official high school schedule.
=]
some one out there please read this. x3

cuz i'm sick and tired of waiting, sick of this f-ing ...house.

"cuz i'm sick & tired of waiting, sick of this effing ..." house.

it's so true. this house is haunting me. it's worse than spring break. at least then i had homework to think about. the only prospects i have right now is ... SUMMER reading. (shudders at the thought) i mean, i love doing it. but sitting on the computer actually typing the stuff? just feels darn creepy sometimes. don't know why. if i did, i wouldn't be creeped out. so i'm getting to be like my astrological sign. i'm being crabby like cancer to everyone. my aunt from india over the phone. my family. everyone. and if not, i'm just being polite cuz i don't want to scare anyone over AIM or something. or i act incredibly tired. & bored. but the bored part isn't acting. it's the plain truth. i hate this house, but it's not the house i hate. i hate the feeling that i'm shirking duties. but i have none, per se. besides the above-mentioned summer reading.
fact: i haven't touched my flute in over a month now.
fact: dance has been forgotten since about may.
fact: i am in desperate need of psyciatric help.
fact: i WILL die if i'm left in this house any longer.
fact:...
yeah, you get the point.
this is WHY my parents are yelling at me. my brother's yelling at me and so forth. i'm ADDICTED to the computer.
it's a portal to the outside world that doesn't need to be initiated. you can always be an invisible observer of anything once you go on myspace. or on AIM. all you need is a passcode. that person's name. it's quite scary if you think about it.
anyone can find you. but i'm not scared of being found. i welcome new friends.
this feeling of knowing people are there is comforting to me. so is the music i have been finding online. it's crazy. i am falling in love with good music. my playlists now are all indie/emo rockers. the academy is..., mae, less than jack! ( lOl)& the spill canvas. that music is soothing the pain of having no one. but everyone. not being able to talk. having no friends. this is comforted by the music. the sound of the beat of "slow down". the melody of "embers and envelopes". everything.
my fears need solutions. and the only one i can come up with is to fix the facts. rewrite all. PRACTiCE flute. (shudder) PRACTiCE dance ( once i read my attitude book thrice.) do these things and prepare myself for hard work. cuz i've never done that in my life. and that is what is different about this freshman year than every other year. hard work.

x reyi

NYC was amaZiNG!! =]

i can't believe i was THERE.
i saw HARRY, CARRiE, & GARP @ Radio City Music Hall on the 2nd.
I can't believe it. i saw stephen king, john irving & my favorite author, jo rowling all in the same night. along with whoopi goldberg & kathy bates among others who introduced these great authors.

but what strikes me most was the live podcast from the union square barnes and noble.
i can't believe i met these people i listen to every single week without fail.
just getting up to them to say "hi" was so hard for me. i think it was the reality that they were RIGHT there. RIGHT there . enabling me to say "hi" was frightening. i missed my chance to meet andrew, ben & jamie at once. BUT i made up for it by saying hi to ben and melissa a NUMBER of times. getting pics with them & eric & sue & john & dylan later on. it was sooo great.

the actual podcast was soooooooooooooooo great. so funny. speckled and freckled with lumos jokes& references to the reading they went to the night before. plus great discussion about everything under the sun. it was so great to see it live. so great. && i'm SO happy i went. so beyond happy.
and according to them, it was the best leakymug ever. in history.haha. me && dylan. =]
me and the best hufflepuff everr, sue. =P

me and THEE funniest man alive, john noe. yes, in his slytherin tie.

&& with that i say,
DAAAAWLiSH!
=P
`reyi

NEW SHOES!!

i gots new shoes!! i'll put up a pic... one sec. gotta get a picture of them. <--- they look like converse, but they are actually AIRWALK. x3
saving 'em for school. when i'll NEED them. x3
can't wait. i also went bargain shopping at filenes basement. Two shrugs for a whopping total of $1 each. x3 and they fit moi perfectly. x3
=]
=]
=]
x3 reyi

who knew summer could be this boring? not me. i'm cleaning the house, doing NOTHING. watching TV and bored to tears. i wanna go to school. ideally, this wouldn't be what i wanted. but what can i do? home is the most boring place on earth. nothing to do. nothing to see. nothing. a barren field. my mind has been going wild with possibilities these last few days. i wish i weren't the case. i love my emo music. without it, i'd die. it's the only real tie to CTY i have left. and i have to clean my house. and my room. ahhh!!
edit:
And i have no shoes! none! i mean, i've been talking about kangaROOs, pumas, converses, etnies...etc for over a year. you'd think my parents would have the decency to buy one pair for my birthday. WRONG. nothing . nada. i don't blame them 'cause i've never given them cause for joy. acting the way i do. but you'd think they'd get it. just one pair. but no, i have to dream on... I like the ROOs. they look so cute. those or pumas!! lOl. shoes are love. like music is love. x3 get me outta this empty house!=]
miss CTY people like crazy && i miss home people cuz they don't talk.
=[


lonely-
`reyi

i miss this.
x3
cty= love.
and insanity.
x3 you, deb!!
x3 you, steph!!! x3
x3 x3 x3
===
MISS YOU LIKE WOAH.
and i knew i had to put this up soon. x3
`reyi

burlington high, here i come.

i'm so excited for high school. i can't believe it's just a month away.
i want new friends.
i feel really mean saying it, but i'm sick and tired of my friends @ home and i want new ones.
x3
and i think soccer is getting me there. slowly, but surely.
=]
friends are everywhere, you just have to be brave and say hello.
`reyi

SCHED!!!

AHHH!! high school!!!!!!!!!!!
so excited.
x3
can't wait.
{1st|musical theater}
{2nd|latin ii}
{3rd|gym mon, wed}
|free tues,thurs,fri}
{4th|us history i}
{5th|structured lang.}
{6th| biology}
{7th|geometry}

happy birthday to me.& yuting!

happy birthday, yuting!
happy birthday, reyi-the wicked matthew!!
x3 us.
x3
x3
x3
yay.
i'm 14!!

RIP CTY.

i can't believe it. the most amazing three weeks of my life are over. CTY. Carlisle. Dickinson. Red Devils. HUB. Quads. KW. life. time stood still as life went on, but the life that grew there is beyond what you get at home. Learning never felt better, growing never meant more. I found myself. I found people who care. A place where a day is a month, a week is a year, and everyone has known each other FOREVER. and now it's over. i love you all. i miss everyone. even some of the RAs. (nazis... lOl)

let me try to list what i miss, and who: i miss Yisu and her music "fiend" ness, i miss Steph and her awesomeness, I miss CRYSTA and her hyperness, i miss Yuting and her cool&mellowness, i miss deb and her insanity, i miss divya and her divya-ishness, i miss diandra and her friendliness, i miss tina and her obnoxiousness, i miss salt water gargling with yisu and talking about everything, i miss mellow weekends where life and time stood still, i miss passionfruit even though it was lame this year. i miss andrew and his craziness, i miss white andrew and his cheapness, i miss the weirdo activities the RAs made up, i miss KLINE!!!! i miss goofing off with friends.I miss making fun of Peter, our TA and his crazy dance moves. I miss living off of noodles and Ramen with my hall. I miss sleepovers though not the last one cuz it got too...interesting for my taste. I miss the love that you get and the feeling of knowing people for a lifetime in 20 days. I miss being ghetto. I miss being a MAN. LOL. I miss being the only one who says wicked at least 10 times a day. I miss being special, but in a way JUST lIKE EVERYONE ELSE. i miss the movie theater with their HUGE ginormous drinks but yet no cup holders. I miss hanging out with people from years past and meeting even more. I miss yelling out random people's names making them jump and look around on their way to meet market. I miss being crazy. I miss having fun. I miss the weekends of neverending time and the 5 day week with almost none. I miss the rush and adrenaline of learning and being with kids who liked it too. I miss listening to music during study hall and headbanging with my best friend. I miss it all. I miss it ALL.



x3 CTY CARLISLE.
i love you all.
`reyi. mattthewickediam

it's over. and i'm sad.

because it's all done. people who are going to different schools i'll never meet again. i will never get to know them better or learn more about them and why they were the way they were. i'll never get to laugh with them again. it's saddens me. but it's all so new. freshman. i'm a freshman. i think that sounds so--sad. we ruled the school a mere day ago. we conquered. we were on top of the world. now it all clunks down and we have to climb our ways up. i mean, high school means life gets even MORE complicated. even MORE people are allowed freedoms never issued before. even MORE mistakes are made and fights fought. even MORE laughter is sought. it's just a lot MORE, and i don't know how i feel about it. i think i should feel great. I think it should feel accomplishing. and it is. but it also frightens me of the future. what the future has in store for ME. all i know is, it's gonna be good. it has to be good. high school will be the next great adventure. and i just can't wait. i'm climbin' my way back up to where i was. i'm going to learn how to fly higher than i was. i'm going to be...amazing.
high school...
i just can't believe it.
i just can't wait.
x3
maithreyi

graduation

as we go on, we remember, all the times we spent together. as our lives change. come whatever, we will still be friends forever.
i love my friends much. x3 today was great. i didn't win anything, and i care, but not too much.
=]
today was about letting go. and being free. and leaving.
yeah, leaving. everything changing. i think change is healthy once in a while.
it helps clean out the practice rooms. =P

`love everyone always.
maithreyi.

final fling!

it was amazing.
the dress= perfect.
shoes= perfect.
hair= perfect.
=]
everyone was amazingly beautiful.
I was amazingly beautiful.
i'm so happy.
it was so much fun.
even the gym looked awesome.

that's all my best friends.
starting from the one in blue,
joee, chelsea, davis, albert, me, taylor, jess, and caroline.
x3

these are some really smart, amazing girls whom i love.
=]
from left to right, ellen, emily, neha, me, and rachel!

that's me at my backyard. =]

me and my favorite floridian, jess. x3

that's davis, me, albert, coe, and chelsea.
=]
so yeah, that was final fling.
canobie is on monday.
i just can't wait.
love everyone always,
maithreyi.

rants.

i'm the head of my song.
"do you believe in magic"
classic cover, i know, but it is a good song.
and it's catchy.
and i can sing it well.
i'm basically carrying the song, which i am glad about.
then there's my friend who came back from a extended vaca in okalakamukmuk.
i'm so glad. but so scared.
everyone is basically paired off, or planning on it in the next few weeks.
i'm completely and irrevocably single.
but my friend who just got back has a plan.
that in itself scares me, but the fact that this plan involves me and other people makes me altogether terrified.
what to do?
wait. she won't even tell me who this involves.

yeah, frightening.

then there's our play that debuts on friday and is done by end of saturday.
it is the funniest play i've ever been in.
(shh. it's the only play i've ever been in.)
there's pop guns, 2nd graders, and a dead canary.
what's not to love?

my friend who lives in florida is coming up tomorrow to visit cuz she's a b-towner at heart.
i love her and my friends SO much.
i can't think of living anywhere else but here. except for cty.
and college.
which i STILL need to figure out.

what the hell am i going to DO with my life?
what is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?
i know it isn't 42.

and the question of life, the universe and everything hasn't even been thought of yet...
sigh.
what are you going to do.
what do you want to be.
what are you.
who are you.
these are things i SHOULD know.
but i don't.
not really.
vaugely, yes. but fully to the extent i need to, NO.
what am i, really?
am i meant to be a writer?
do i have the temperment?
could i ever write something anyone would read?
i'm not talking little known book that people in my hometown buy cuz i wrote.
i'm talking dan brown's da vinci code. i'm talking angels and demons, harry potter, absalom, absalom, rise of rebellion.stuff people need to read to live. people need to read.
people WANT to read. and share and enjoy.
but i don't know WHY i want this.
i want the pride, duh.
i want the accolades.
i want to be a writer.
but WHY?
how is a writer preferable to eating?
that is my question for the next years of my high school life.
and where the hell does PE fit into this?
i will never know.
and i know somewhere in this life i AM going to end up using musical theater in business.
that is absolute.
i know music will prevail the storms of hardships.
but i need to know if writing can.
cuz that is all i've ever wanted to be.
a WRiTER.
-maithreyi shankar. the writer.

new dress.

i am NOT wearing the simple.
and that's all i'm saying about that.
=]
i WILL look pretty.
yay.
i can't help thinking of michelle branch's lyrics, " Beauty lies within" when i think of getting all dressed up for anything.
i feel like i'm cheating on my values, but it feels good.
=]
real good.

the dress

yes. I got my Final Fling dress.
No, it doesn't look like everyone else's.
It looks like a sundress.
It's white, cute, and has sparkly silver beading.
yes, it's me.
the others I tried on with my friends and yesterday weren't really me.
How ever much I convinced myself it was.
I wasn't comfy.
And now I know how I am comfy.
So, I don't have to worry.
Sure it needs a lot for it to look pretty.
Jewelry, a shrug (maybe), some glitzy heels.
But it's more me than anything else.
And I'll look trendy.
And I'll match the theme, somewhat.
and I got the message that it's EIGHTH GRADE.
There's years for me to be all dolled up.

yay, for being true to myself!
`maithreyi

Time for me to FLY.

Forget all I said before.
My life is ACTUALLY QUiTE AMAZiNG after all.
Today worked itself out from the beginning.
I'm quite happy.
NO. I'm ecstatic.

It started with me still a little down from yesterday.
I worked it out with Ms. O'Neill
and I can be in both activities after all.
So far, so good.

Then after brunch, I begged Mrs. Abati for the chance to audition for Vaudeville by singing.

She allowed me to.
I auditioned after lunch and I did so very well.
I am so happy.
( I sang "Time for me to Fly")
=]
I am so grateful to my teachers, friends, and lifestyle.
People care for me no matter how I feel.
It's a good feeling.

I love my life.
so much.
`maithreyi.

Lean On.

I had a great day today. A wonderful day. Really. (Hear the sarcasm drip like the massive amounts of rain, falling hard on a factual ground)

Okay, no.
Today was as great as the day I was left by my friends when they got together without me.

No, it was worse than that. I can live without loyal friends.

I can't live without music.
And now I have proof.


Today started with MCAS, the living torture of the easiest standardized testing on the planet.
Really.
I did really well but answered one of their open-responses on the wrong side of the answer packet and had to copy it all on to the RIGHT side and then do another whole open-response.
Yeah, happy joyeous morn!
Then, the day goes on, I laugh here and there, organize my locker cuz it's going to collapse into Mr. Adams' classroom if I didn't.
Then, I thought I'd feel great because Activity Block was coming.
I love music.
I love MAKING music.
even if I am not good at it,
I love it.

How wrong was I.
I completely lost it by then.
I wanted to play the flute.
I couldn't.
Vaudeville Band and Vaudeville Chorus weren't allowed to mix.
Except for two exceptions which aren't even fair.
Because of "Instrumentation."
The instrument which I play isn't good enough?
It better be, it cost enough.
Or is it the choice of instrument?
Because I can't do anything about my choice.
It's the one that fits me.
So because of these eloquent decisions by the music program,
I felt badly for myself for over 2 hours.
I broke down so many times.
I hated myself for it, but I really shouldn't.













This was SUPPOSED to be my time.
MY time.
Time for me to FLY! remember?
I'm leaving the school, so I wanted to leave my mark.
Not physically.
NO.
MENTALLY.
I wanted everyone to know that I excel
at MUSIC.
and everything else, but music because music is life.
And with one stupid " you can't" or "we can't do this now"
I end up feeling badly for the rest of the day.
GREAT.
I had plans for Vaudeville.
Sure, there's high school.
But there is SOMETHING to this being an end.
THE end
the end of an ERA in my life.
The "maithreyi climbed the ladder of success and found the summit where she belongs" time.
The "music rules my life" time.
The " great, my self-esteem is self-satisfied" time.
And how great is it that all of that build-up to this year, this time, where I should shine as brightly as the sun did glisten today, everything almost has died.
wonderful.
you can still be part of the chorus, maith.
you can still half-rule.
YOU can succeed at only part of what you have worked three years for.
yeah, it's all or nothing.
Though mostly all.
I need all.
it makes me whole.
I need to be part of both, sadly, to survive this next month.
if you're wise, there's still tomorrow.
there's still tomorrow.

The Calm After the Storm...

It's the calm after the storm now.
Things are settling. Life is going on though the world has to pick up the pieces of their lives.
Well, some people. Flooding got really bad in Peabody and in NH.
I think we might see sun for a while.
The glorious sun.
Shining brightly down on the world.
Shining in a way that shows why rainbows exist.
and why.
Without rain, there is no sun.
There is no glory.
This week of rain really made everyone appreciate the weather more.
Though they don't even realize it.
They don't even realize how much they miss the light.
They don't want to admit it.
They say it's too gloomy.
But I don't care.
I LOVE it.
I love it all.
I take it with life.
Life is unpredictable.
Life is the calm after the storm.
*maithreyi.

Rain...

Listen to the rhythm of a falling rain, telling me just what a fool I've been.

it's true. The rhythm of the rain is amazing. I don't know why, but even though you can't go outside in the rain, I love the rain. I have this obsession with the rain. I love walking in it. Especially if I KNOW i'll get drenched. I don't know. It's calming. And refreshing. Walking in the rain, that is.

It's been raining for about 6 days straight. It's flooding now, and creating a mess all over the state. Do I care? Of course NOT. I just love the calming nature of it. It speaks a song unheard by the newscasters and people whose basements have flooded. The song of spring.

Yeah, I'm crazy.

The rain tells me secrets I'm not sure I want to hear about myself.
That I am crazy. And many things. I've only managed to successfully walk in the rain alone once and that was a MONTH ago. It was amazing until some highschool-bighead yelled obscenities at me for being stupid. For walking in the rain.
I was going to scream back at him,
" WELL, I LIKE the rain."
I was taking a spring walk. I was walking down to the elementary school and hanging around. Swinging on the swings. Reminiscing. That kind of thing, and I was feeling good. Exhilarated. That guy made me question my motives. My motives for walking in the calm. For experiencing a good feeling. For being nostalgic. He turned that experience into a hard one until I remember the rain.
The sky hasn't rained this much in this town for a while, so I think it's a great break.
When we aren't on the roads, and are warm. Inside.

I love the rain.
`maithreyi

end of the beginning.

I've grown really nostalgic over the last couple weeks. I'm starting to get that this is it. The end of the beginning, the beginning of an end. People I've met are leaving forever, people I've loved are visiting the world. Well, not the world, but it feels like it. Life is changing. The part of schooling that counts is coming and I know I can handle it, but part of me doesn't want to. I want to stay a child, which is just wrong, but I want to. I think that it would be easier to take if I had gotten into a private school like Phillips (Andover). It comes to you more easily that life will change because you start BOARDING school. It's harder when you don't move to grasp that fact. The fact that life is changing. Changing, more or less, for the better. It's creepy, but you have to deal with it someday.
Vaudeville is coming up. I want to try out, but I don't know what song I should pick. I think I MIGHT do Time for me to Fly because it is catchy and easy to sing. Then I might need TAB and a guitarist, so I don't know. Part of me knows it's going to be what I do. I can't wait, even though Vaudeville is quite stupid as a whole, it's my class this year. I feel some attachment to these people. Especially those I won't be in class with ever again. I find that sad because it's like I would never get to know them anyway.
Final Fling is soon too. That is going to rock, but the theme is Club Burlington. Yeah, right. I've been to 3 Club CTY dances, and frankly, I don't see the obsession with nightclub themes. The only thing that would rock is if my group of friends got glowsticks and NO ONE else did. Which most likely will happen. I'm so glad I have such great friends. And now our circle has spread. I love them all. The cool nerds. =]

It's time for me to FLY!
`maithreyi

SPRiNG CALM

I love the calm of spring break. There's no fuss about working, except from the parents. There isn't a issue about time, there's enough of it. And there is a FREEDOM about having a week off that I can't detail.There's a stillness in the air in my town. I haven't gone outside since yesterday, but I feel it.
Maybe some people will think I'm crazy for it, but I am sure that it's true for everyone. Freedom changes people, even for a short time. Even if it's limited. Even as I am being yelled at to get off the computer, I feel relaxed about it. Positive, even. Now I know people are going to think I'm mental. I've just stated that I'm calm about being shouted at. But it's TRUE.
There's a few obligations I do have over this break. I have to study. I have two school projects to finish. I have a substantial book to read full of history, dates, and information, but that doesn't matter. I feel calm about doing these things because I know there is no haste in completing any of these tasks. It's completely odd for me and I don't recall ever feeling this way. But I like it.

CTY is only in a matter of two short months chockful of excitement. April is almost over, which is hard to believe and coming up in the first weeks of May is the spring concert. Hard to believe, it usually takes forever to get to May, and this year we're there before anyone suspected. After that is the band awards. Yes, the geeky band awards where we get ice cream and some certification and trophies. Oh, yes, I'm excited. Then soon after is the Chorus Awards. (Same deal, though it's during school.) In the middle of May, there's an interlude into testing like no other. MCAS. I, personally, want this to be held off as much as possible, but there's no escape. This is what I'm studying for. My future depends on getting great grades on this. If I don't, my family will be wondering what in the world am I doing at CTY.
Then in June I have plans to meet Erica at Great East Festivals. I'm going for two groups, Stage Band and A Cappella. Then after, Erica and I are gonna figure out how to meet at Canobie. It's gonna be amazing, after all I've heard from my friends who've already gone.
Soon after that, there are plans for our eighth grade class to go to Canobie as well. That will be fun, but not as fun as going with the band and chorus geeks will be! Then there's Vaudeville which I'm going to put my heart and soul into. I really want to shine in my last year at MSMS. And, alas, Final Fling. Final Fling is going to be amazing, regardless of what I wear, what theme, what decorations. I just know that the friends I've made are more important and are going to make the night for me. Then I graduate. I really want a scholarship. I know I may not get one, but I really want one. If I work really hard this quarter, I think I'm quite in the running for All-Around. It's a long-shot, but I want it.
Then within the week of leaving school, I go to Carlisle. I can't wait. Faces I haven't seen in the longest time will be familiar once more. I can't believe how many people I've met and already know going into Carlisle this year. It's unbelievable. I especially can't believe the kinds of people I've met. Every walk of life. It's great, and I can't wait to have fun this year with the old friends and the new.

`maithreyi

break...

The start of spring break was okay. Today was less than amazing. I had dosai for breakfast. (It's a kind of Indian pancake thing.) Then I goofed around for a while. I read some Potter and did some fun stuff, I guess. Then I tried updating Mugglecast, to no avail. I've spruced up this new site so it looks perty. I'm quite proud that I managed to find something that would work for this. I'm gonna try to synch this and my xangerr so they match up. My parents don't like my being on the computer so long. It makes them angry that I'm quote unquote wasting my time. Keeping a record of life is a waste of time? Then it seems as though historians are wasting their time recording what's happened so long ago. Maybe I should be a historian. I tease. I don't like history enough to spend my life surrounded by it. I'm really tired and jittery and I don't even know why. I wish I could sleep, but then I'd probably sleep until tomorrow night. I wish my site would get visitors, even I'm growing bored at seeing this empty site. (I know it'll fill with posts soon, though.)

crazy week

This has been a very, very short week. I'm so zonked. This morning I just listened to Pottercast because I couldn't get up, and my ipod was in my ears. Here's the low-down on this week.

Monday: Trip to elementary schools. We went to Fox Hill and Francis Wyman, my two old schools. I sang in A Cappella and in the mixed A Cappella groups. Then I played my flute in Symphonic Band. It was a really fun trip, but some of our songs sounded... interesting. Then when I got home, I went for a walk, if i remember correctly. It was enjoyable. Then I finished my homework, watched TV with the fam, then watched the Apprentice with myself. It was so funny.

Tuesday: This was the more fun trip to the other two elementary schools. We went to Memorial and Pine Glen. Memorial was fun because we worked on our A Cappella circle song. We now actually have one! The not so fun part was singing/playing for the elementary kids in the cafeteria. =[ Pine Glen was exhilarating because the principal brought the WHOLE school out to see us. It was thrilling. We sang well and I played my solo. =] Then the band brought fear into those kids with the "Tunes that go Bump in the Night"!! After Pine Glen, we went to the mall. It was quite enjoyable with our large table. We made a long table out of 7 or so little tables. Then we went to Brigham's for ice cream. (Not before we got Ms. O'Neill a peep...! ) I don't remember the rest of the day.

Wednesday: On Wednesday I had stage band rehearsal and hung out with Carolyn and Katie in the halls. Then I had to go to mixed A Cappella rehearsal with everyone. It was so funny because we had little Derek sing "you know i love the ladies..." from Joy to the World for the assembly. =] Then in the afternoon, I had A Cappella rehearsal until afterschool. It went well, Great East is going to be fun.

Thursday: Thursday was just plain hectic. We had stage band and A Cappella rehearsals in the morning right before our 8th grade assembly. THe performances went well and Derek captured the hearts of 300 8th grade girls. Then, we went to 7th grade lunch and saw the rest of our assembly. Then we rehearsed again for the 6th grade assembly and performed. Derek wore his chicken suit for the costume contest, but didn't win. =[ but David, Carolyn, Bridget and I had fun in the Music Room. =]

And now I'm writing this.
I am quite bored, but I have to send in my essay for beam... =[
Adieu!
`maithreyi

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