happy to live life

have you ever had that moment when your mind just took like a snapshot of your life-- and you were unreasonably happy about it?

just now, as i talked to my dad on the phone, i felt like this sensation that hey, i'm doing something right. i think it was his chuckle that did it. to me, my dad's judgment is always more influential than my mother's because my dad doesn't constantly give input on everything. and most of the time if he does, it's negative-- cuz he wants me to be better. but to get good input, or to hear him care means the world to me.

so i just started to have those happy tears, you know the ones that stay in your eye, but put a glint of shine in them, naturally? those. and i just prayed. for happiness in the world, all ways and always.

i thought about how my family is amazing even though we're too close sometimes.

i thought about how lucky i am to have a family that cares.

i thought about how it is for people who dont. and those who didn't.
and i realized that for all the embarrassment they've caused, i love my family ten million times more than any friend that i've been embarrassed in front of.

and that's a really happy feeling. it's like a happy to live life type of feeling. i was literally hyperventilating when i was getting the computer up to get this out of me.

it's this amazing, calm, i'm-doing-things-right, awesome, powerful, happy feeling.

and i neverrrr want to let it go.