lazzzzy girl

so. i'mma slacker.

i haven't been studying.

i live in a pigsty.

i am pretty sure i'm failing my sats because i don't have my act together.

i write my blogs THE DAY they are due.

i feel like i'm dying under pressure. and the quarter's just begun.

i feel like i'm already behind.

i feel like i'm growing fatter and fatter. and eating wayyy too much.

yesterday's sickness was a wakeup call. 

something's wrong; body's telling me i need to fix it. 

so immediate actions: 

organizeeee.

clean the room.

go out running/jogging. at least to wilmington.

make my business plan. get movingggg

work on my academic life. make sure i'm not FAILING anything painfully obvious. and easy. 

work on studying things i usually like to study. maybe start coloring more in my neuro coloring book. ?

study for sats. in a fun wayyy? 

dance. at least a couple times a week. 

choreograph something (?)

write something non-biographical. fanfic perhapss? 

longterm: 

visit some colleges

start thinking of reasons to stay in the area versus reasons to leave. 

make more friends...

ditch friends who are being so non-friendly. [work in progress]

kick my coffee habit in favor of something healthier. (?)

work out more. eat better. 

buy some seriously wonderful clothes/accessoriess!

write a song. 

sing something in public 

go out with friends blowing off something important. 

be happy in january. 

xoxo,

maithreyi

MOMENTOUS OCCASION

a few things: 

-OBAMAAAAAAA JUST WONNNNN ;] 

SOOOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. 

i began to remember the dark ages-- right after bush was elected. the first time. 

i remember being a very educated 4th/5th grader. being angry about the war.

wanting to have a voice, but feeling so powerless because the US was not technically MY country.

i had no claim on it. ever since last year...

I AM FULLY EQUIPPED WITH A VOICE--

i have to say, if i could vote, it would definitely be for obama !

i was for him through the primaries. 

i was for him ever since i knew who he was. 

and while i may be a tad more liberal [read: almost socialist/communist on some things LOL]

than he is, he is ultimately the direction the country should go in. 

he, as corny as it sounds, actually believes in the country.

dad says he could be the next lincoln. 

and if my dad thinks he has potential, there's gotta be something about this guy. 

[this is coming from the man who for all intents and purposes "gave up" on his hopes for me in 7th grade. i'm on a downward spiral to him. (just kidding! he loves me. on the inside. deeeep.)  

=) 

but yeah. for now, i just wanted to record my thoughts on this so i can look back in four to eight years on my reactionnn. 

and what i did that day when barack obama was elected. 

-i studied for my sats.

[after procrastinating on the computer.]

-i read a chapter of harry potter

-i ate pasta w/ pesto me and my mommy made

-i ate rice and pickle for lunch

- i went out to help clean the robotics room. which was fruitless cuz the room was already clean. [read: i wanted to go into the school to grab my bio study guide =P ]

-i saw the impact of our town through the extremely long line of cars just to get INTO the student parking lot ;] 

-i drank my mochacoffee thingy. twice. 

and crashed after the second. 

-i watched the bestest political speech in history thus far. [yes, i'm biased.]

-i read up on my fave sites. 

-i watched a lil colbert/stewart. and a lotta cnn. 

- i argued with my daddy over politics! yay. 

ummmm. i think that's it. =) 

it's been a month since i've written. 

and a lot has happened.

junior year has sucked out my soul.

i'm fourth in the class thus far.

and i am dyingggg with pressure. 

the end. 

more later [this weekend]

xoxo, 

maithreyi

FIRST job! and other updates!

okay. so about 2 and a half weeks ago, I got my first job! It's writing. for the 84, a Massachusetts anti-smoking program which focuses on the fact that 84 percent of MA teens don't smoke and the other 16 shouldn't either. I'm blogging about my non-smoking, non-anything life.

in a way, it's about how my life, the interestingness of it, causes others to not want to smoke either. interesting concept, and i really hope it works! 

i don't even know when my first blog will be published and exactly where that will be, especially since I've already submitted it on wednesday. but i am excited. this is the first time i've really gotten a boost in my writing confidence. i LIKE writing. it's good for me, too. it makes me think about communicating to others. something that's sometimes really hard for me. 

sat classes have been really good for me too. i met some fun people. i love goofing around in class because it definitely helps me stay interested and it makes me want to come back to class more often. the hmwrk i could do without though. it's like another two fulltime school classes of work, prolly more if i really scrutinize it. 

and on the driving scene, i got my permit 9/23! : ] 

it's super exciting because now i can drive in the daylight to 12 am with my mommy in the car. 

does it mean i have? absolutely! on 0-2 mph. steering! in the rain! outside of fox hill! driving in circlesss for like an hour!  and then for like all of 5 seconds. in the night. around a parking lot. i love my mommy. i have to start classes at tritown soon though, there's only so much we can do without another brake on the car : ] 

and school beyond sucks. my human phys teacher effectively knows as much as a 3rd year undergrad at umass without studying, and with studying--maybe a first year med student who has a test on whatever it is the next day. 

the fact that he needs to study to teach is pathetic. but even so, shouldn't he know it well enough to explain to a class? YES. 

does he? NO. 

i'm studying for 2009 brain bee. always. because i learn human phys at home. and i never have time to study for brain bee. and i need time. so i use his class. it's legitimately human phys. and anatomy. so i'm not lying, or not studying for his class. i'm just ahead. in so many ways. on so many levels. 

and my mom told me to. so i think my mom's judgement goes before mine, which comes before his in the flow of MY education. 

anyways, besides THAT-- ap bio = amazing, english is really nice, i like my teacher. math is math, methodical and dependable. and ap world? great! lots of work, but mostly just reading and knowing chapter after chapter. we've done 12 chapters in like 4 ish weeks. latin is my favorite though. it's like a constant thread throughout highschool. i'm pretty sure i WANT to continue it next year, for harvard. we'll see how the scheduling works out though. i really need to learn some physics. and i want to take media production. so it'll take some tweaking. 

and dance is getting to be fun. i need to get back to practicing. which means, moving everything around, i don't really know when i'm going to get sleep. but it's going to be worth it. i'll do yaar adhinar much better, and i will learn to manage all my time better.

--maithreyi

SCHOOL and other updates

So today is the first weekend of school season. And a lot has happened since my last post. I went to ABI Biotech camp at Roxbury Latin for the summer and had a great time meeting lots of great people, seeing amazing labs, and working on really cool experiments. Then, right after ABI was over, my family and I shuttled on over to Paris and took a train from there to Brussels to meet up with part of my family: my uncle, aunt, and two little cousins. We went to a Brussels museum, ate authentic Belgian waffles and then hurried on over to Amsterdam, where they live. We sight saw Amsterdam and I had a blast with my cousins! Giving them piggyback rides, playing chess, cooking in the kitchen. all sorts of things. Then we went to Paris to sight see and stay for a couple of days in a Parisan apartment. It was sooooo cool. After Paris, we went to India. We went on a pilgrimage our first full day seeing three temples, and then went to my dad's side of the family in chennai for like a day. Then we went to see great grandma, great uncle and aunt down in madurai, india. it was soooo cool. great grandma or kollu paati is reallly old. can't really walk by herself or see or do much but she WANTS to so she does. she reads the newspaper every morning. does sudoku. plays cards. washes her own clothes. it's amazing what a 90yearold woman can do! Then we shuttled on over to Delhi to spend time with our other two cousins and our aunt and uncle up there. That one day with them was action packed and i wished it never ended. Then it was off to grandma and grandpaaaaa for five days in the countryside of satara, india. they were feeling really ill, so the doctors were coming like every day. it was some sort of lung infection or something. i helped out whenever possible, but it was hard. the last couple of days they were feeling somewhat better though, and now they're alright. we even saw sights there like the beautiful mountains and waterfalls. then it was off to home. we didn't do much once we got back. we went kayaking once. i went out to eat at my friend's brother's gradparty part two [i missed part one when i was in india] which was reallllly fun. i read twilight's breaking dawn. i did all my massive ap homework the day before school started. i ran for field hockey. i went to preseason and doublesessions which was torturous and tryouts finally ended yesterday.
i must say i'm thankful for the field hockey system because if it was like soccer or lacrosse or any other sport, this would be emotional. i mean, varsity and jv are big distinctions. but in field hockey, it's pretty much the same. and everyone's together. we are all on the same bus to each game. and no one is cut or on one team for life. it's a very permeable barrier. so i'm on jv. and i'm a junior. and i'm okay with it. i'm actually kind of excited because there are another five or so juniors with me and we all have experience which means that on the field, we have a shot at winning. which is thrilling. and i wanna be one of those people to shoot. something i doubt i would have experienced on varsity right at the beginning this year.
oh and school is very tough this year. i knew that ap classes would mean work but i had no clue what i was in store for. ap homework for the summer hurt my wrists, because of the amount of notes i had written. but that level of work is consistent for the entire year. just this weekend i have to read a chapter and skim another chapter for tuesday. and then for biology i have another whole set of rules and selfmotivated studying i must do just to make it through let alone get to biology olympiad or something further or attain that 5 on the exam.
but i feel so determined now. i feel accomplished. my arangetram helped me to get this feeling. i feel the power of having done something that i was told a few years ago that i probably would never do. and that feels good. and i'm not giving up there. in the realm of dance, i just gave two performances. different songs. back to back at the temple. the temple! the temple is like the pinnacle of indian dance. if you dance badly at the temple, you disappoint GOD. [well, that's how it happens to play out in my head anyways. hey, if it motivates...] and i gave stellar performances. so i'm not going anywhere there. so why give up in everything else that i have been good at for years? exactly.
my goals are getting closer. i can almost taste them. sats are coming and that's my first real test at how much i can work to get to where i want to go. i neeeeeed that 2400 or at least a 2300. if i don't get it, i don't know what i'll do but i don't have to find out because i will get it. i will attain my dream. this is my time. i'm gonna have it all, and you know why? just because i want it!

xoxo, maithreyi [haha, gossip girl is starting on mondayyyyyyy! LOL]

TODAY.

So, yes. random day to write a blogpost.
but i write when i feel it. and right now, i'm feeling it.

so, basically, i have the two best friends anyone could everrrr ask for.
my best friends aren't reallly in numbers. and if they were, i doubt they'd feel like my best friends.
yes, i have never gone to a concert. and one of the factors which causes this is the lack of similar music taste. but our differences make us more fond of each other. make us learn from each other.

neha--- so like, me and neha have only really known each other since the 5th grade. but i don't think i've ever had more fun with anyone else or laughed with anyone else more than i do with her. we're something between the same person and opposites. we're liek each otehr's halves, but ourselves at the same time. i feel like i can talk to her without saying a thing. and i feel like i could tell her anything and everything, and she'd listen. it's a great feeling to have that person there. and she is truly a happy person. never frowning, never pessimistic. she's a beautiful person and friend. and i'm so happy that i am friends with her. <3

karishma--so. i make fun w/ and of karishma a lot-- w/ neha lol. but it's all in good fun! she's such a good friend. she cares soooo much . and even though she's sometimes mean, and calls us mean, she really means well. and i love her. she loves the same games, and tv shows as me. and she understands my feelings sometimes. and she's always there to help or listen. and vent to. and just have fun with. and her house is always open -- to talk or just veg out in. and it's amazing to have that type of family type people who are there for you. ;]

and when we went dress shopping today, it really shows how close/distant a group of friends is.

back in the day when i went with the old crew, i felt soooo sad about dress shopping. i lied and agreed with their opinions, but honestly, every dress looked more ridiculous than the one before it. it was horrible and i hated how i felt wearing those clothes. with neha and karishma, i needn't lie. i could tell the truth, and when i liked something--they'd say it before i did. they careee in a way the others didn't. they understand how it feels to wear the clothes and be the one watched or whatever. they get me more than i get myself sometimes. and it was fun to make fun of those dresses that i once thought were cool! LOL

and though neither of us found what we were looking for, it was a great feeling to know what type of thing we were looking for and not have to fit in a box that wasn't for us.
it was good.

i can't wait for karishma's sweet 16, cuz no matter what we're wearing-- we'll have an amazing time!

winding down...

the road is winding down...

REALLY.

sophomore year is overrrr. and i just feel like i've accomplished something by finishing like this.

i feel like the whole year has been waiting to be done -- and now that it is, i'll reap my rewards.

i am off again to a paid-learning.
but this time, it's competitive. so that counts for something right?
progress! next year i neeeeed an internship that counts.

6/8/08-- the bestest day of my life !

Sunday was absolutely spectacular. I danced really well! Smiling cuz I wanted to, not showing it if i did mess up, and not messing up too much either. i can't even remember half of what i did on stage, but whatever it was-- muscle memory came throughh!
adi's prayer was so nice. he helped me go on to bhoomanjali and so did amma's explanation. her speeches were always drawn out and so nicely spoken. Dad's was well spoken, funny and well delivered. I love my family. Arun's MC job was good seeing as he hadn't actually looked at the script until like the day of.
I was genuinely happy to dance. I think I always will be now. I didn't need as much glucose or water as I usually do. I went off pure adrenaline/epinephrine. And the messing up didn't transfer to the musicians and theirs to me at all. and you couldn't TELLLL!
It was everything I could've hoped for, strived for, and I loved performing for the audience--even though they lacked knowledge of when to clap! My poses were perfect. and i wouldn't have done it any other way. well, better obv. but you know what i'm saying.
The mangalam was so nice. The walking part was my favorite of ALL of geetha's singing. it brought my energy up 10 fold until the end, which I did wrong time-wise, but it's alright. I love how to do Maithrem and the mangalam, I had to PULL MYSELF AWAY from neh, kay, and mommy!
The extemp speeches were SO well done! LOL. especially mine! [just kidding. I SOOOO should've grabbed my speech from the table!] and everyone singing happy birthday to my mommy was so cute and priceless! :)
Ranjani auntie's speech was so nice. and true. i wassss a stubborn lil five year old! and now i'm all grown up, and not so stubborn anymore. more like pertinacious! LOL. but i was thinking about how when i saw amudha and amrita's arangetrams, allllll i really wanted in the world was to be like them. in the dark of the night, i wrote a thank you speech while the family were asleep the day after amudha's i think. i reallllly wanted it. and for it to happen this way was soooo unexpected!
And Neha and Karishma's speeches were the best thing I have ever heard a friend of mine say. I love them so much for caring and just for being there for me! <3
The greeting part was so fun as were the interviews that Neha did with the musicians, ranjani auntie, and me. along with the pictures, food, and people-- it was beyond believeable. it was over! i mean, jacqui came! from hopkinton! :)
Dinner was the best ending to the longest, hottest day in june history. I still have a ways to go, but at least now I will always remember how I began!
"the budding dancer",
maithreyi :)

6/8/08-- the bestest day of my life!

Sunday was absolutely spectacular. I danced really well! Smiling cuz I wanted to, not showing it if i did mess up, and not messing up too much either. i can't even remember half of what i did on stage, but whatever it was-- muscle memory came throughh!
adi's prayer was so nice. he helped me go on to bhoomanjali and so did amma's explanation. her speeches were always drawn out and so nicely spoken. Dad's was well

jitters. fritters. and do i care? ditters.

so.
i'm in the middle of dancingg.
and i'm actually liking it.
a lot.
i'm missing battle of the bands today, but kay says she'll make it up to me :)
so we're going to cute is what we aim for, as soon as i can get my daddy to buy the tickets which are only like 12$ each. and it's after school's out, so no probs. and we can probablyyyy use public transportation to get there! w00t!

so more word on the job front, but i'm thinking of working for earthbox or something. just something to keep busy and do something worthwhile. and i will do something in india for the misfortunate too. i loved teachin the slum children with shachi when i was 10, so why not do it again?

...and i need to dance three more dances to be done for today. off the hook. so i think i will...
then i want to go to MALLLL to get myself a rubik's cube :D i like itttt ! & it's fun. and dorky. and me. and it's hard to do correctly. i've been watching youtube videos and reading algorithms.

hehe :]
-maithreyi

nostalgia x1944943e

so. i absolutely cannot believe how much i've changed from last year.

last year i was worried about trivial things like..." omg, do my friends like me? do i have a pretty dress for semi? i hate life... "

but now-- i'm like super-serious about life.
i want to go to an elite university.
i want to live past june 8th, and hopefully enjoy june 8th.
i am not waittttting for the last sunday in june. which is actually a really sad feeling.

i used to anticipate this time of year.
when there was like maybe 30 days until i'd see grass i loved, people i loved more, and an experience i would literally die for.

now-- i'm not so sure.
i know i would do anything for it again, but to make my family pay that much? for no-interest in the learning?

i'm done. i learned what i could. any experience i had is now being repaid to me in my classes and my knowledge.

in/de is finally paying off in class. i know my sequences and such.

unag has always given me a leg up esp in the china department.

intro to lab helps me boast my lab experience. and definitely gave me some learning on how to structure my experiments which will help me this summer.

chem helped me grow. and realize how to ask for help. how to NOT do labs. how to clean up. how to be diligent when you reallllly don't get it.

neuro taught me the rest. everything else. how to deal with people. how to fight for your goals. how to work hard.
:)

+ the people.

i STILL to this day talk to deb, erica, jacqui, arun, christina, chelsea, and a few more people from 03.

empries, steph, and a few i can't remember from 04.

jamie [really from 04], crystal, brenda, angela, sean, sara from 05.

yisu, steph, diandra, yuting, soph, andrew from 06.


and

dang, crypto c, and my hall from 07 :)


so, friends for life?

possibly.
i mean, some of these forever friends are definitely forever. i mean, me and deb have known each other for like 5 years. we still talk. we still blog. we still listen. she sent me a christmas card this year :) <33
& we've only gotten closer over the years we haven't seen each other.
and the year we did, we grew.

we're different people now than we were when we were 10. but sometimes, i feel like nothing's changed.

sure, i've had experience in life. but all that means nothing when you think about friendship.

friends are forever. that much is true. if you stop being friends, it doesn't stop the fact thtat you were close at one point.

i mean, how else do TOTAL strangers become life-long lovers?

it's happened. there's a bunch of cty romances that ended in serious relationships. and a couple ended in MARRIAGEEE.

i mean, people grow close.
even in a short time. we yearn for companionship as human beings.


and when we are apart from those in our natural habitats, those in our newer surroundings are just as appealing. just as friendly. just as important in our lives as those we see every day back home.

which is why this nostalgia for the past isn't bad. never bad. it's just yearning for a separate time that will never be. it's yearning to be with those whom you enjoyed your time with.

it's yearning to be part of something bigger than yourself.
something everyone wants.
i want it again.

i know i'm going to be a cty ra.
and not a tip ra or some other stupid program. definitely cty.

because three letters can mean a whole life, friendship, love lost and found.
:)

happy to live life

have you ever had that moment when your mind just took like a snapshot of your life-- and you were unreasonably happy about it?

just now, as i talked to my dad on the phone, i felt like this sensation that hey, i'm doing something right. i think it was his chuckle that did it. to me, my dad's judgment is always more influential than my mother's because my dad doesn't constantly give input on everything. and most of the time if he does, it's negative-- cuz he wants me to be better. but to get good input, or to hear him care means the world to me.

so i just started to have those happy tears, you know the ones that stay in your eye, but put a glint of shine in them, naturally? those. and i just prayed. for happiness in the world, all ways and always.

i thought about how my family is amazing even though we're too close sometimes.

i thought about how lucky i am to have a family that cares.

i thought about how it is for people who dont. and those who didn't.
and i realized that for all the embarrassment they've caused, i love my family ten million times more than any friend that i've been embarrassed in front of.

and that's a really happy feeling. it's like a happy to live life type of feeling. i was literally hyperventilating when i was getting the computer up to get this out of me.

it's this amazing, calm, i'm-doing-things-right, awesome, powerful, happy feeling.

and i neverrrr want to let it go.

stressed beyond belief

hi, world!

so... this whole arangetram thing,
my idea?

omgg so much stresss.

i'm so nervous. i just have to hear from someone that it's gonna be alright.
and that i'm not gonna fall flat on my face
and mess up
and disappoint everyone.

preferably from someone who means it.
not someone who doesn't mean it.
or someone who says it just to pacify me.

and make me feel better enough to dance more.

i need realllllll support. and people to believe in me. so that i can believe in myself.
cuz people don't believe.
omg.
it's annoying.

people are annoyingggg.

but i'm trying to get over it.
build a bridge. and all that.

but i need time. sometimes people don't understand that either.

so now... i'm feeling better.
but i'm not sure what to do.

i'm gonna turn a new leaf-- be happy. but tomorrow.not today.

--maithreyi

new revelations & such

so. it's now 5/22 at the time of start.

i am feeling really interestingly apathetic towards life. numb, in fact.
opinionLESS.
i never thought i would, but it has come. i don't know why. my head really hurts though.
i think it's because of my "OMG. is this really happening? i can't take it!" explosion yesterday.
implosion, more like.
i'm surprised i'm still here.

also, i found a new love and therapeutic thing to do.
color on the walls in nontoxic, wash safe roseart markers.
well, not color. but list. list good things or goals.
it's like because they are on the wall, they'll actually come right.
and i can avoid blowing up.

that and coloring in my human brain coloring book [i kid you not. it exists! i'll scan a page in!]
has kept me from not going completely whacked.

tues was my ultra super happy fun meeting! it actually did go better than i had originally imagined! i honestly thought they wanted to meet me to tell me to give it up or try next year, not seriously do something now!
it felt good to immerse myself in neuroscience again, and to learn just a bit more.
and also not get shot down in something i really think i can do! and the lecture by dr[?] gross was superrr fabulous. i learned so muchh.

yesterday, was less fun than imagined.

today was better.
i discovered/actually started using twitter.
which i also discovered is wayyyyy not me/ not bloggy.

um... what else? ... i need new music.
like asap.

and i need to read.
so i think i'm going to either start my ap bio hmwrk [not happening. well, yet.]
or reread sophie's world. i actually have to do it though. not just pretend.

i need to re-get stiff, so that i can read it. and spook, cuz it sounds even better even though they are both by mary roach (gooooood sciencey book writer. they are like funny stories. must read)

and i need to read the host.
cuz everyone, regardless of whether they liked it or not, has tried it.
and i barely gave it a chance.

i feel like though this year isn't over YET. it nearly is. i mean, there's what? a couple of chapters of history left maybe cuz we're not even going past 1969.
- only a few weeks til vb final project is assigned.
- only a few weeks until catcher in the rye has been begun and finished
-few weeks until math is cruising.
- a few weeks of intense chemistry until we're done
- and a few weeks of 3 stages of latin so that we finish the year with green book completedd.

and then like a ginormous test on allllll of it. whoop whoop.
oh, and a few weeks til i'm certified in first aid and cpr!
haha. jkim [mitblogs] is like an EMT/ medlink person. i'm like a junior, junior , junior EMT. if someone collapsed in front of me, i would like maybe BARELY know what to do. i would get them help, maybe do cpr, but i sooo doubt i'd do it liek the lady on the video. [check the scene, check the victim, check for signs of life for only 10 sec... ] by the time i'd finish following the steps, the lady or sir would be LONGGGG deadddd! so, i guess we're all actually just certified in common sense. which i barely have. maybe. makes you feel a lot safer, no?

so... job at borders is still reallly pending. cuz they haven't called me, or my references, or anyone!

i should've applied to dunks when everyone else was.
at least i'd have some dough now. not that moolahh even matters to lowly little me. who wants to do research all the time for her life. and make like 0$ much to the dismay of my mommy, the supahhh banker. lol.

but, really. i should've thought out of the box.
i shouldn't have relied on others' ideas or jobs that 1993043903 people have.

but my thinking isn't really backed by what i know in a way.
i want too much. but wanting too much now will at least get me somewhere next year when i need to do my research in order to apply to like siemens or intel or something.

i know what i want. i'm just having a little trouble getting there.

and how come when i can write all this out, to the whole web 2.0, why oh why can't i write a freaking essay for school and get an A?


haha
all my opinions are back.
thank god.

oh, and twilight movie is gonna be soooo hot.
"when you can live forever... what do you live for?"
and... the infamous:
"EDWARD. you can't do this. she's not one of us!"

good decisions.

-deciding to run for election for treasurer. good decision, even though i didn't win.
-going for my dream on my own with no moderator or in-between = AMAZING decision. I emailed zealously at what? maybe 4ish pm yesterday. today, I already have like maybe 7 responses. some good, some bad. some direct, some indirect. but the point is--- they responded! I'm not a failure!
actually, i never thought i was. but i didn't think that they'd take me seriously unless an older more wise person advised them to. It's not a bad deal at all! I'm quite excited for all the possibilities this holds.

now i'm stuck in sanity.

start: 5/12/08
and i've seen it all, many times before.

so the year is winding down. next week is mcas. my first rehearsal is this sunday.

and i'm like freakinggg out.

arangetram is coming along swimmingly.

i'm being stupid to say that i suck.

i don't. i'm actually quite good.

my dancing is fabulous. i just need to make minor changes to improve. basically, now my mommy and ranjani auntie are just nitpicking. cuz what else are they supposed to do for a MONTH?

certainly not relax.

of course not! that's impossible.

[note the sarcasmmm]

but i haven't STUDIED for mcas.

i haven't started to look through notes for things for finals (that would be crazzy)

---
cont: 5/14/08

yeah. so nowadays, sleep only comes to me at or around midnight.
i am becoming nightowly.

and i have decided to try a buncha new things.
like
- mass email all the brain and cognitive science faculty! [if you are faculty, and somehow found this blog, and are annoyed, i am really sorry! and really desperate! i needdd to research this summer! ]

- tried applying for a parttime job @ borders! which i actually really want. cuz if i don't get to research, i'll at least get to read! a lot!
and drink yummy drinks from seattle's best coffee. which isn't quite starbucks, but is adequate. and sometimes better. and eat yummy coldstone! :)

- RAN FOR TREASURERRRRRR.
omg vote for me! :)
FOR CHANGE WE CAN SUCCEED WITH

=)

and i took it all seriously.
and made an amazinggg speech. quoting GANDHI :)
and i really think i have a big change on winning.

-JOINED robotics! after two years of straight make-funniness.
i did this cuz of FIRST. it's a big deal. and fun. and a great opportunity. so many MIT kids did it. and this opportunity came right after AMRITA got top 16 in the 2.007 robotics competition. where ranjani auntie was all ," if amrit can do it, anyone can!" so i thought i could :)


i'm excited for junior year.
ap world and ap bio. and i'm really considering electing to take ap psychology, just to be all badass and get a 5.
and FRC. which actually is in between the beginning of musical season and casting. so i don't know whether the play is in or not. depends on what play. and how i feel about it.
and BRBB again ! :) where i'll soooo wipe the floor with the seniors.

but right now i'm sooooo tired. the midnight oil is always burning. and i'm sooooo tired.

i think june 8th is really going to change my life.
i feel so accomplished about dance already.
i've come so far, and i have so little left to go.
i think i can get somewhere with this.

after i'm done with my arangetram: anything's possible.
i can conquer the world ! dance is so hard for me, anything will be easier!

=)

100!

100 !
i've made my mark.
i've reached the limit.
and it only took... like since 8th grade.
but i think i cheated. cuz i wrote like 60 posts in the last year.
they aren't evenly distributed.

so. i have nothing to say.
but i just wanted to say this.

and let's take a look back...

um. so since 8th grade:
i've been rejected by andover twice.
i've given up dance for like a year, came back changed, and now am completing my arangetram.
i found my stance on music and how i'm not very good at it because i never practice
and i'm not disciplined enough to actually practice.
i made true friends for life.
i had best friends, lost them, found them, got into a big fight with them, and drifted apart from them.
i went to cty two more times.
and managed to NOT learn chemistry. and love neuroscience.

i managed to meet and become friends with prolly 87 people out of CTY O7. which is a breakthrough cuz usually i stick to the 20 i have to meet.

i facebooked.
i learned more coding.
i managed to join like 10 clubs.
and join a team, and actually play (FIELD HOCKEYY)
and now i'm running for student council.

(MAITHREYI FOR TREASURERR!
SHE'LL MAKE THIS SCHOOL SO MUCH BETTER. )
LOL

i talked to people.
i delegated tasks (something i'd never do in middle school.)
i was frivolous, but responsible.

um. my courses next year are like sick.
i have to figure out how to take physics sooner rather than later:
am lit
adv topics
latin iv
ap world
lab
human phys
ap bio
:)
and senior year:
ap english
ap calc
lab
ap chem
web design
latin v
senior wellness


SICKKKK :)

it's 11:11, now you want to talk

so yes. it's 1111.

today. i was thinking.
what is life really all about?
back in the day, it was all about wars, slavery, life or death, hierarchy, ruling dictators who were born one after another, over and over. cyclical. similiar. simple. and the same. the same ruin. the same OMG moments. the same dramaaaaa. over and over. til the end of the era.

now, what's life about?
um. let's consult my girl, gossip girl courtesy of the cw. um, like, life is like all about designer clothes, and drinking, partying, and getting into college so we can drink and party without parents! duhhhhh!

um. right....
middle class suburbia life?
life is money. money is life. the two are interchangeable. because if you have money you actually have a life. that matters. and if you have no moeny, you die! yay money!

my life?

um. actually. as superficial as it sounds ,the money thing is the truth. but there's something more. i liveeee to get money, go to college, learn to help people with incurable diseases, but ultimately i'm another link in the chain of life. a good link, but just another person. human life is tricky. it's wasted, but not really.

i was reading deb's blog the other day... (http://supahhhflyyx.livejournal.com)
and what she says about war today... ABSOLUTELY true.
not like life doesn't matter, but to add to what she said, it's cyclical. we're all gonna die.
we're all gonna decompose (unless we're cremated.) but the point is, we'll all be little bits someday. one with the earth. so how does it really matter that 4000 people died in the span of 5 years in WAR? war kills. that's kind of the point.

i mean, the crusades, the plague... the world's gone true worse crises. i think that our generation of like the last 200 years likes to bring on the drama of years past. make up for lost time. treat everything like it's the end. which is probably why women and men are so broken up after "breaking up" with their gfs and bfs. our closest genetic link, the chimp, doesn't really hold on to relationships like we do. so we should kinda follow monkey see, monkey do right about now. be playas. it's good for us.
it's good to not CARE about things so much for a change. it probably would make things more happy in the long run anyway.

-maithreyi

cty. sometimes memories never fade

so. sometimes, you have to move on. sometimes, it is a choice. sometimes, moving on sucks. a lot.
sometimes, moving on means leaving your friends. sometimes, moving on means your friends have left you. sometimes, life just isn't peachy. or you want more. or something causes this movement that causes life to suck.

so for me, cty has ended. it didn't have to. i have one more year.
but that's just it.
one more summer "just cause I can" is not right to me.
especially when it costs money
and i could make money or learn for free now.

but then why does it hurt so much ?
to leave my friends? to " leave " the one place besides home where i felt alive?

why does it hurt to see my friends go on without me?
why?

this is an emo blog...
but i'm just wondering. cuz it was supposed to be about learning.
and i learned.
but the growing i didn't imagine. the making friends... i never went to camp and made friends before cty.
i was too uncool.
i was a dork. a freak. a little girl who liked books more than people.

now i just love people.
and i just lost the same ones.

and this big scheming dream i had... it's gone. there's nothing.
i need to make something happen.
i need to do something crazy.
or insightful
inspiring
to prove that i didn't leave my friends for nothing.
or to prove that i was not going to NOT make friends this summer.

but it doesn't stop the hurt. and the wishing and hoping we'll all meet again.
it sucks.
but in the end, it'll all be alright.

-maithreyiii

i don't wanna go to school. yes, it's true. i wanna go to college to get some knowledgee

i don't wanna go to school. yes, it's true. i wanna go to college to get some knowledgee.


so, spring break didn't do anything for me learning wise.
i didn't learn a single thing from a book.
i didn't even read a book.
at all.
i learned about myself though.
i learned from within.
to not judge.
to look inward, not outward.
to forgive and forget the past.
and a lot of stuff that the school perspective never allows for.

i learned that sweating is alright.
and almost dying in a car accident is exhilarating so long as one does not die or get injured.

and that i really need to focus on the present when all i want is the future. and all i do is hate the past.

i love the future.
because it seems like i can do anything-- but i have a goal.
so it seems like i'll reach it.
but then what?

that's like the weird part about goals and college and the next step.
what next?

cuz i THINK right now all i want is to either stay home or go out to cali.
[go big or go home mentality]
but i'm rethinking.

my one and only dream ever since i started reading the mit blogs was "hey, mit is close. it's sick. i'm going." but now, i'm rethinking. i'm like-- mommy and daddy would never be able to dish out that kinda change.
maithreyi can't make it.
maithreyi will make it but then fail out and be miserable
maithreyi will make it, do well, but be miserable like at bhs.
maithreyi won't make it, and will only make it to community college and be miserable.
maithreyi could make it, go somewhere else, and have the time of her life.

so yeah. conflicting thoughts.
but my favorite one, which i hope still happens?

maithreyi makes it, makes mit blogger, makes course 9, enjoys her life, goes to grad school and lives happily ever after!

:]
i wish.

but what about the ivies?
what about more feasible less expensive means to the same end?

what about life?

:/
maithreyi

spring brak 08

spring break 'o8

so. spring break's going great. at least today it is. yesterday, i was lazzzzy.
today, i'm also lazzzy.
but not quite as much as yesterday.
and i have goals today.
i have to perfect [or reperfect] bhoomanjali, my opening number.
i have to read stupidddd of mice and men.
i have to make food.
i have to study-udy-udy
i have to survive.

i have to learn how to make pancakes in the near future. cuz my mommy is awesome. and i suckkkkkkkkkk.
seriously.
my brother was wayy too nice to actually stick them in his mouth and pretend to enjoy them.
they were like a food safety hazard.
i was gonna take a picture of them, but i didn't want to ruin my camera.
that bad. srsly.

oh
and i have to go exercise.
outside. in the nonhouse.
:)
sickkk.
i'm like tired. & i have no shoes. but exercise, it is.
probs just walking with the bro.
maybe hit dunks.
just to eat somethinggg edible for a change. (but mommy did make yummy food at homeee... decisions, decisions. omg. the starting line! ... my thought process is WEIRD! :] )

oh. yeah. that reminds me. i need to dwld the scene aesthetic.
+ .... i can't remember.
but i should go do that today sometime.

maybe i should do some cartwheels.
yes. i shall.


OMG. spring cleaning went so well! yes, my drawers are overflowing.
and yes, i did DO MY OWN LAUNDRY for like 4 loads in a row.
and have more clothes than can fit in my organization system.
but it's clean. and neat. :)


and... in other news, my COSTUMES CAME!!: )

update on this laterrrz.

i think i'm gonna either code, read some scripts online, or chill in some other way before tackling my work.


and there's a wizrock concert on saturday. thati reallly want to go to! :)

life. update. and rx.

life. update. and rx. 4/16/ 08? whatever day was thurs.
sub ToEndOfReyi'sCapacity ()
tests,
non tests,
stupid 1 day til vacation
aghaghaahgahgahga PHOTOSHOOTTTT!
end sub

and that in a nutshell, is what i've been feeling the last couple of days.

stress. lack of stress.
stupid coughing.
stupid stress.


LOLOL--- one day left though :)

then i can soak up the sun. which seems to like boston lately!

-----
edit 4/19/08: because stupid mommy wanted me to get a facial and i never finished! LOLzz

so, i was saying that i got so stressed about photoshoot and school.
so school's out for a week.
and photoshoot's over.
and was it worth the stress? yes.
was it painful to be a model for a day? OH HECK OMG PAIN YESSSS.

i give majorrrr props to anyone who has ever had to deal with a photographer and camera and couldn't take breaks whenever they wanted cuz they had to get "THE SHOT" .
it's ridiculously painful.
more painful than actually dancing.
omggg. pain.

and today, i CLEANED .

but the good thing was ridding myself of the bad memories, and bringing in the good and new memories. like going to 21 with my buddies :)

and i should go fix that. but i wanted to change the bg on here too, to reflect my spring cleaning mood.
i found my old cty pic that i traced.
and i scanned it into the computer.
and it came out with a blue line across and the whole thing was yellow.
i fixed it; in picasa, paint, and PICNIKKKK which is the bestest estest facebook application i have ever come into contact with.

i love the fonts.
gangstaaaaa :)
that's actually how i looked. i can put in the actual picture i traced later. it was cty drag dayyy back in 2005. the first drag day i ever experienced. it was sickkkkk nasty.

[it also explains why my hat is pink. i didn't have a chance to beg my classmates and friends for a hat. i barely got clothes. so i used my PINK bosox one! teehee.]


oh. and time to talk rx.
it was the book i had to read for health classs.
and ironically, i read it as i was sick on thursday last week.

it was actually quite enjoyable if i forgot about the main character's major flaws. as in her ritalin addiction, her thinking she was ADD, her hanging out with a sexdriven stupid girl and a stoner though she wanted to be part of the "TWENTY" (the elitist academic group), her wanting will, a lazy kid who hates said twenty, and her disregarding of her parents and signs all around her saying NOT TO SELL/TRADE Rx drugs.

but other than allllll those problems of "thyme"[what a stupid name. who names their kid THYME?], it was a good story.

i could relate with the academic endeavors. but i don't think my friends would be so outta it. and i don't think i would get stoned to keep it up, or go on interviews, or before presenting in front of the class. or to commit suicide like one of the kids does with the drugs THYME sells.

okay, ... so it was an alright book.

a little unrealistic, but alright.
i think the thyme getting caught but not caught scene was stupid. and instead of someone DYING, or her boyfriend breaking up with her, or just going to college making thyme stop with the drugs, i think that plain old having her getting caught like with her name on the altoids tin or something would have been absolutely perfect. the suicide, boyf, and college thing was just pushing it.
and the ending was horrendous.
"i would kill for some ritalinnnn. i would pay like a 1000$ a pill!" just AS thyme is flushing said pill down and reaches for it? verrrrry melodramaticcc.
very unbelievable.

but the characters were kinda real. like if you blended them together, you'd get something that resembles real.
insecure, weird, wanting to fit in, awkward, perfect --- we all have it in us.

so yeah, good book. lots of problems. but i suppose that's why we read about it for health. they are SUPPOSED to be flawed.

eh. bringing down the house would have been better. but EVERYONE'S reading it, which means library = nulllll.
so i hafta wait to read that.
for now, i can enjoy of mice and men for casey's class
stiff for my own pleasure
and angels and demons for my italy analysis
:)

heheh
this'll be a fun vaca,
gotta go finish my spring cleaning!
-reyi

hmmmm...

hmmm...

the last couple of days, whenever i'm like the farthest away from a computer, i scratch out all these philosophical, stupid ramblings for this space. and then i completely forget them or i null them in my mind because those thoughts become irrelevant. like my freaking out about chemistry. completely stupid. or my rambling on about something else stupid. that's all it is: stupid.

so. a real, untranscripted, scripted, or in any other way planned post.

i like my life.
like i know i made this type of post a couple of years ago, maybe even 2007. i don't know or care.
I just love this fact. because although things go wrong; people make mistakes. although life sucks, some people are just there. they are my rocks.
and i don't think i've ever really realized they were there.

like take those two to three months of almost oblivion. or obscurity. or just general frump time. i wasn't a frump dress-wise. or any other wise. i was social, just not at lunch.
and i really missed my so-called friends. the ones that now have their own time, zipcode, and life. the ones taht left me in the dust.
i reminisced about funny times. when i was funny. and why , during school or with certain people i just lose my sarcastic edge. my rhythm. it gets lost in the shuffle only to be found when around my kin or in my anger. in my most concentrated core.

and i really thought about who and how i am at my own optimal level.

and though it sounds really scientific the way i'm saying it, it just came down to what i was most comfy with and what i love most in people and whom i love most.

and before anyone judges me based on where i sit at lunch, i just have to say.
just because you like art, do you sit with the artsy fartsy kids?
just because you play golf, do you sit with the superjocks?
just because you play an instrument, does the whole band sit in one side of the cafeteria?

just because you have fob-like leniencies, do you sit with the fobs? (trick question: this answer is always NO. for a million reasons. reason #1: they are scary and creepy beyond compare!)



the answer is no. you have FRIENDS! of course!

and the answer way no for me too. and i did have friends too.
I had my "met through my family" friends with whom i share my ethnic background and my "met through school" friends with whom i used to share my academic/fun pursuits.
(and my "met through camp " friends . but that's a whole other ball game)
and because these worlds practically never connected, i was living a double life.
i was the cool one, the awesome one, the never afraid to say what comes into her head one with my family friends.
and the shy, nontalkative, crazy girl with my school friends.

no, i didn't have multiple personality disorder. or manic depression. or anything psychiatric. [trust me, i'd know]. i was just finding it easier to compartmentalize. be different people different places. until i realized that this taciturn, laughing, nonloquacious, smart but unresponsive, and unremarkably stupid person was not who i am. was. or strive to be.

it was all wrong.

what happened to my opinion on everything? my charm? my SMILE? did they rob me of it all?

in a way. i just wasn't comfortable. it wasn't their fault.

but i really thought we were friends. i had all these delusions. i guess they were very 12-year-old. i mean, they were based on a book series about magic pants. very delusional. very insane. and very accepted at the time. now i realize that those type of "forever" values do NOT exist. like really. you are who you are at this moment. and this moment can either make or break your happiness. for the longest time, my happiness was on hold.
i was waiting for friends who had long left on the train of life.
they were on to new adventures of sex, drugs, and rock and roll (minus the drugs) and i was getting lost in the old kiddie adventures of drama, mystery, and scifi LOL.

and then by taking the train into nowhere, middle of kansas, i learned so much.
i learned the meaning of social nothing.
awkwardness.
how it feels to have no people.
at least for a bit.
and it has to be the most souless time of the day: lunch.
lunch is very much a social endeavor. and quite lonesome if you're a party of one. the food is fine, but i honestly believe that i would have lost my mind. i would have yelled, screamed, etc. if i didn't have my music, my books, and my neuroscience. studying for brain bee was my only crutch. and with it gone, i could only barely last a month in my solitude.

and now i'm with my real, true friends.
the ones that never really left or will leave me.
the ones i can laugh about ANYTHING [ even if its nonsensical ] with.
the ones that don't care if i suck at math and don't judge my freakouts.
the ones that truly CARE.
and we don't need stupid photos or labels or have a need to tell each other every day that we love each other or ginormous groups or cliquey tendencies or anything else so contrived to proclaim our friendships. we just know.
and we don't fight because it's not worth the time we could rather laugh away or smile about some secret joke :)
and that's like wayyyy more valuable to me than any words can describe.
it's ineffable.
and it's infectious.
and i'm incredibly, incredibly, incredibly grateful.

i feel like ron.
"it's not much, but it's home." (hp 2)

i love you, neha & karishma and my little freshies, too :) <333

+ i REALLLY miss you alycia and ali <3
CTY 2007 ! best friends for lifeee.
+ DANG, you were my best friend, kid. and a lifesaver!


--- so thanks, if you care about me.
and no thanks if you left my life. i'll probably talk to you, but you know, it's on different terms than the past. what's done is done. we're friends, but you're not #1.

and please, people in the blagosphere, think about the important things. cuz yeah, when you look back on high school, you won't remember the hard classes or the A- you got in english freshman year. you remember the people who hurt you, the people that make you laugh, the people who send you to the asst. principal's office, the people that get you awards, and the people you love.
but mostly, the people you love.

<3,
maithreyi [yeah, that's my name. don't wear it out! ]

I SUCK @ LIFE! OH YEAHH

so, i suck at life.
yeah.

arangetram charity thing? probably maybe NO GO. YES GO ! YAY the following occurred before this revelation!
cuz i am an idiot.
who believes toooo much in the whole " let's all hold hands and with the power vested in us, we will magically save the world using the conductive nature of ..." exactly.
no sense.
nonsense.
ridiculous.
but i REALLY thought by offering up any monetary things i gained from my arangetram, I would somehow impact lives and save SOMETHING other than a bath and body works collection or some cool new UNNECESSARY gadget that looks really sleek and new. i was trying to come in with some perspective i've gained since my last soiree. which was probably too long ago.
and back then, i shunned presents. so that takes us back to the stone age. where presents of the monetary nature went to my mommy and daddy's funds. where i would later get a pretty pink toy or something of that nature.

dork.

stupid noncharitable dork.

i wish i knew better back then.

and i wishi wasn't stubborn now. but apparently wishing on a falling star doesn't make things happen. who'd have thought.

and yeah. i sorta kinda wish i knew what was happening with this charity thing a while ago. cuz i was actually kinda psyched for helping something in the world go better that some of my excitement, though it's still there, has disapated. because not only is my family paying through their noses to let me perform this culmination of my years of dancing studies, but unfortunate MORE unfortunate people won't even (maybe) get a dime. which sucks for them. and sucks for me. when i want to be worldly and care. and join amnesty international. and doctors without borders. i think sometimes having people i look up to help people makes me wish i would help people just to be a little like them. and a little more kindhearted. cuz i do care. but only about a select few in this world. and i wish it were more. i wish i cared about each of the 6 billion on the planet. because maybe then there wouldn't be an economy to watch the downfall of. maybe then we wouldn't have to deal with wars. everyone would care about everyone else. i wish we all had hearts of gold. because then, a fifteen year old girl who wished she cared even more, and wantsed? to give some money collectively from a buncha people to make a point and show that a group who cares is so much more powerful than one single soul, maybe then she would be supported by those who love her. and supported in the sense that they contribute. and help. and ask how to do more.

i know it's impossible to ask that.
even i feel like i don't have time for others.
i don't even have a lunch table with PEOPLE, for crying out loud.
i sit and eat in utter silence of a book (dan brown this week :])
but when it comes to people coming together to do something for others,
i reallllly care.
but i have no money.
and the idea that we pool resources. a dollar here and there and can make something great from it reallllly makes me warm fuzzy and glow and happy from the inside out.

i mean, the latin club can manage to scrounge up $350 for a H2O buffalo and some rabbits in a bad year where donations are slim and people don't care. that money went to heifer.
it was donated.

now it's your turn to help. the school has, where's your contribution?

i want to help.
i participated in the "Fast" portion of "Darfur Fast" .
The only reason i couldn't do the "Darfur" part was because both of my parents wouldn't let me use their credit card info to donate like $10 dollars. not cuz they don't care. they're busy people! they have lives ! and jobs! and children who still require food and care, etc.
i don't blame them.
the only reason i have no money for alms is cuz i don't make it myself.

again, the collaborating sounds realllly good here.

i suppose i should just suck it up. get a job. work some parttime, dance, academically educate myself, play music, and sleep. but that sounds like not only work but timeeee gone.
and i doubt i'll have any useful money by the end of it.
i probably WILL do that in the summer when i have some time though.
and i will donate some.
because try as you might, you will never feel better than when you help another person.
either on a math problem during alg 2.
or halfway around the world in a country being terrorized by their neighbor.

groups of people can do extraordinary things.

i want to make an amnesty international club.
i reallly want to .
i think it's different than model un.
it may appeal to more people. different people.
and i think it MAY get somewhere.

i want to see what it will do.
i want to make a difference NOW.

and though i live in a world where not only am i YOUNGEST in my family
but i have to deal with a culture where respect and the elders are law
and i want to follow the rules but i simply can't be quiet. i need to be
heard. i hate hearing that because i'm young, my voice doesn't count.esp cuz i LIVE in a country where all you hear is "YOUR VOICE COUNTS!!!1!". I have an opinion on everything. and sometimes it's "WRONG" because an elder thinks so.


i want them to think i'm right. just once.
give me a break!

i want to have my cake (charity) and eat it too ( give it all away as a group!)

not a hard concept.
i wish.

ARANGETRAM JITTERS !

HELP A FRIEND <3 http://www.zinch.com/Anonymous/ViewMatchUp.aspx?u1=21959&u2=128920 GO . HELP . NOWWWWW ! she's an amazing, awesome writer and a nerd :)



ARANGETRAM! :)

so, my arangetram is coming up.
invites are going out as soon as i get my photo shoot and someone to format/print them correctly. (translation, in maybe 3 weeks. maybe)
and the "hall"(auditorium in reg speek) has been booked since like december.
and now i have the rehearsal/set up time.
and a lighting walkthrough.
and i'm just going AHAHAHAHHAAHA.
and my knees hurt.
a lot.
and auntie probably thinks i am a lazy bum who bites off wayyy more than she can chew. (JK :])
but varnam is going greatttt!
i actuallly love the song. and i haven't even heard the recorded version, so it's not cuz of the singing or anything. i actually like what it stands for ! yay!

so there's mcas tomorrow.
and i don't care, but hey. it's something new and interesting, right? !

and my new recent love is PhD (Piled higher and Deeper) comic about grad school :D
so funnyyyyyy.

HELP A FRIEND

HELP A FRIEND <3

My friend, Kathleen Hong, is in the running for a $20,000 scholarship. The winner will be determined by popular online voting. The competition is currently in Round 2, and it would be greatly appreciated if you could help her move onto the next round. She's the one on the right, with her hand in the flame, chugging coffee out of a coffee pot:http://www.zinch.com/Anonymous/ViewMatchUp.aspx?u1=21959&u2=128920


GO . HELP . NOWWWWW !

she's an amazing, awesome writer and a nerd.

boreddd

boreddd

(note to self, learn how to use ctrl+B without injury to dignity.)

so there has been nothing to report.
my death cold continues with some improvement due to the enormous injestion of about 4 cups of orange tea.

and ice cream, latte flavored.

and cocoa trio with whipped creame and chocolate on top. but the hot choco kind.

yesterday was a nice day with the fam.

i did all i was supposed to. enjoyed some loungey time.
and we had a nice dinner at the ginger pad. [chow fun noodle bowl, ftwwww <3]

and then we headed to my faveee book /everything store, BORDERSSS.

i'm getting an anatomy and physiology COLORING BOOK and the human brain COLORING BOOK that we used in drew's classss ;)

i'm actually quite excitedddd :d
studying over the summer can be quite entertainingg :D

then i indulged in my scandaly side by reading some trashy magazines (we all have our moments of defeat) and some gossip girl. i think what intrigues me about this series is how nonchalant all the adults are about their children/teens lives. they all drink. and party. and have sex, but their parents only care if it makes them look bad.

in all the other books, like even ONE of those events is like the twist in the story that changes the character's life from that of free to that of freedomless.

i guess that's life of the UES. (barf) who calls their part of town by initials?
so would i be in the FH?
ridiculoussss.
but still, intriguing...

then we came home and saw an ep of house about this reputable OLD doctor who got sick fast and just wanted to die.
house wanted to make sure he was terminal. and they have to trick him to do more tests on his comatose body.

it was actually really graphic in this ep. they did everything.

but in the end, the old doctor dude=terminal. and house pulled a kervorkian.
ahh. we win some, we lose some.

it was touching. but really graphic.

there's another ep i recorded. i wanna watch it, but it would be wayyyy tooo loud.
:)

so today's guitar.
and chilling. and dancing. i was SUPPOSED to dance at 8. but my mommy wouldn't want to wake up. and my daddy and brother are FAST asleep. so i don't wanna wake them. esp since we're getting along swimmingly.

:D

and i'm getting sick of this layout.
new one coming soon. maybe it'll even have all the stuff done out by someone else?
we'll see.

ADIMASTER!

hey world !
I was just thinking about brawl and considering writing a post about it
but then i realized that my brother, aditya aka adimaster is pretttty adept at video games
and has a blog about them!
so checkkkkkk it out, he's pretty good!
adimaster.blogspot.com < goooo nowwwww ;)

oh my

oh my

i love life, but i'm soooo tired right now.

i'm on the new ish vaio and it's sick-- but i'm afraid that vista means it's gonna crashhh boom.
:[

so afraid that i went and got a job application to dunks.
and i'm working on an application to coldstone.
and panera.
and vertex pharmaceuticals!
:D

and i'm gonna save up my moneys for an apple macbook !
i'm soooo excited.
and i'm practicing dance for like 3 to 4 hours :)

i love it.
-maithreyi

post. about life. yes. a post about life.

post. about life. yes. a post about life.
[edited for readabilityy. by reyi]
i've been doing some deep thinking lately. not about my interpersonal relations, though i pretty much am always thinking about how i relate to others. (mostly how i DON'T relate to others.) but i don't know how to sound out what i'm thinking. i'm just thinking that i'm really different. my mommy tells me that everyone in our family knows that i'm different and told me that all my family would be hurt if i ever thought of myself as anything less than amazing, beautiful, spectacular. but like that famous quote: it's my greatest fear that i am less than amazing, beautiful, etc. it's my greatest fear: inadequacy. i mean, most of the time i know my own greatness. i bask in it. i love it. i embrace the inner amazing. but sometimes, just like everyone, i get my human moments. my moments of complete and utter failures. failure to be human for one. failure to be openminded. failure to ask for help. failure to admit failure. i can list for days. and in these moments of failure, i do a few things. i either think it through and know beforehand. and avoid being stupid. [on my mondoamazing days] i yell, screeeeech, sound a lot like a living banshee, make hell for those around me and for myself, and cry. yes, cry. like a four year old. and this happens more often than you would think [ although in this last year from like august on, it hasn't happened nearly as often as from 5-9 grades]. i have such a stoic core that no one thinks i'm destructible. except me. verrrry ironic. but one of my FAVORITE ways to deal with this crazyyyy emotion? painting! drawing! unleashing my graphic soul!
i think i was dealing with a lotta stress yesterday about dance, my plaguelike cough, and just life catching up to me. so i drew about 50 "dope scene" logos. AFTER i already edited up the one that's posted. yep. i loveee my site too ridiculously much. more than i actually write in it. meh.

so that above thing that looks like a paragraph didn't really say anything. but it said a lot.

anyways--- i've been getting that major inadequacy feeling lately.
{note to reader: the following may sound a bit emo. don't worry, maithreyi does not need help. she already figured that out.}


i feel like i have no friends.

i know right? get out your tiny violins! everyone feels like that in high school!
but it's just a crappy feeling to have.
i mean, it's worse when you know that you have the "forever" people who will ALWAYS be there. but you just can't seem to figure out those truly "highschool!" friends.
therein lies my problem.

i have my forever!
i just don't have the in-betweens.
and it isn't as easy as going to a different lunch table. cuz newsflash: i did that LAST year. and ahem, it didn't go too hot.

and twilight (although it's an amazinggggg book series by stephenie meyer that every girl (or guy) should readddd!) didn't help anything. cuz now all i want is edward [or jacob. when it comes to creature men like them, i'm not picky] to come to bhs and sit down and at least be my friend. which is beyond unrealistic.

so now i'm still feeling pretty emotionally distressed.
and i don't even have BRAWL (super smash bros. wii game. most anticipated game of 2008 to date. and lives up to it with amazingggggg graphics. like zomg. i'm fangirlinggg!) to take my mind off of things cuz my daddy {though i love him. NOT. lolz =P jay kay.} banned me cuz i was a teensy weensy too involved with it the other day and almost did kick my brother. by accident! cuz i was too emotionally involved! which is why i should have friends! so that this wouldn't happen! :D

so i'm pretty bummed.
at least i have phases! (an amazing twilight podcasttt. which is almost as funny as mugglecast/pottercast. but with WAY better music choicess)


oh and to the subject of my illness.
it started with a knife in my throat--> temperature (though i think all the people in my house are just like jacob and run on 108 degreess. cuz i have no idea whether i have a temperature.) --> cough--> congestion --> more cough --> dry throat--> almost not being able to talk/ talking nasally/ i hate my voice---> sing like a man/ tonedeaf.
or in graphics?

:D --> :)--> : / --> :| --> (:[ --> :[ --> :( ---> >:|


basically ---> life sucks, and then you die!

oh but in other news?

NIH application = 80% completed. if i think of myself as about 60%, cwood's recc as 20% and drew as 20%, i'm just one drew recc away from doneeeeeeeeee!
and i think i have major potential with that. i don't know how feasible nih ninds is living wise, but on paper it's the best opportunity to come my way.
and i have a serious chance!


i WANTED to write more. but i feel like i have to constantly restrict myself. cuz more people read this. but then again, i feel like they read to know but don't use it against me so i SHOULD type out at least 30% of my soul. maybe. :/
i'm also wayyy too tired and zonked. and like high on lack of sleep and the fact that my throat and nose and ear problem will NOT go away. maybe i should get shelly to help me. there's an idea! LOL

i'm done right nowww.
like done with life.
i'm gonna go drink more coke (probably not the best plan. but tastiest. at least in the house. cuz we don't have pepsi right now. even though i was like raised on pepsi. my brother wanted to feed me pepsi like the minute i was outta my mommy's tummy. which probably explains a lotttt! [only it doesn't cuz that didn't happen. or did it? DUN DUN DUHHHHN!] at least it's not diet. cuz diet has aspartate(?) or something else SHTUPID [brit way] in it that causes growth to malfunction or something so you die. i should probably know the actual scientific reason to this because i strive to be a major in something biologically related. but i really just don't care right now. ) OH MY that parenthetical was LONGGGG.

!

buh byeeeee <33!
-maithreyi

OMG i love picasa

so, this is the new blogskin. and i worked soooo hard on it.
first made the writing on my index book during chem and health.
then took pictures of it like 5 times.
then edited the pictures.
worked in paint.
and picasa-ed the rest.
and now it freakin' looks like one of those mystery novels where the protagonist is searching for clues.
i love ittt :D
it took so much time, but it's perfectttt. :D
i'll put a screenshot innn... !!!

yayyy :D

reflecting ...

Italy seems like it was just a dream. i miss it already. i'm listening to regina spektor. i wish i lived in venezia. the romantic idea of living on water appeals to my senses. the last night in rome was so fun. now it seems like it barely happened. my excitements is gone, but it is not. going to italy made me realize 100s of things about others and about myself. i'm going back when i'm older. hopefully, i'll never have to leaveee!

x dop4minesc3n3st4!

ITALIA TRIPPPPP =)

a chronological look at my trip :]
paraphrased for edits and privacy

2/16
Milan landing !
so the first trans-Atlantic flight was sooo amazing. Even though my seat went from 37C to 35I, it was completely worth it! I hung out with hillary, watched chak de! india, ate bad indian food, followed the plane, did my chem hmwrk, used every entertainment system in the sky until the sunrise blew everything else away. i switched with hillary so that she could take amazing pictures. before i knew it, it was over.

the second plane ride was epic. short, but epic. i decided to study my Idiot's Guide to Italian and watch the Alps. this time, i switched with jess for the sake of belief and pictures. now we are in Milan. the sights from the bus window are extremely picturesque. almost unbelievable. i can't wait for venice!!

still 2/16 [around 11:27 am Bos/ 5:27 pm Verona]
Verona

Verona is a beautiful, beautiful city! We walked to Romeo's house, the lesser known relevant place to the couple. Then we saw the square where people were celebrating Valentine's with concerts, booths, and balloons with the words "Verona in Love!" emblazoned on them. We headed to Juliet's house, passing the market square. I stood on juliet's balcony. and then touched her bosom. :D After that, we made the long walk to the amphitheater. and the city hall. city hall's coloring and preservation looked so beautiful. and i can't even comprehend that they hold rock concerts in the arena. there were performers everywhere:guitarists, gladiators, a valentine's man dude, and clowns. The walking feels good. but the freezing does not. now i am stilllll waiting for venezia.

Driving [Bos 11:51 am / 5:51 pm Italy]
The wine grape field supports look like slinkies in the high speed ;)

2/18
Venice
Driving. Sun. Fun.

Last day (otherwise known as yesterday) was absolutely amazing. I awoke at 4:45am because my ipod time didn't understand DST. It was okay because I just held an impromptu dance party outside! I listened to the academy is..., "walk it out", "buy you a drank", etc. I mean, when in Venice, right? I just wanted to see sunrise from my (and jess') amazingg mini-house. w/ a terrace and a second set of table and chairs. and it was like detached from the hotel! whilst everyone else's rooms were supersmall :)

so i ate breakfast and walked to the boat. and then took 123.456 pictures! (more like 50) we got to piazza san marco with the doge palace (palace ducale), giant prison, Bell Tower, and scenic Venezia. We went to the Palace Ducale for a tour with local guide, Lucia. We saw fantastic architecture and the biggest non columned room in all of Europe. With an amazing canvas of 1000, maybe 2000 people. the bridge of sighs. (called so for the prisoners on the way to deathlike/prison.) the prison chambers were small enough for my head to fit through but made me feel short.

After visiting the Doge Palace, we had free time for lunch. We all went Venice-exploring in the deep trenches of st. mark's looking in different stores. later, we found a cutesy little cafe for sandwiches. i had the vegetariano panini with mozzerella, tomatoes, and chives or herbs or something. Then we headed to the glass-blowing factory for a demo. On the way there, I took soooo many pictures. At the demo, the guide was really funny and informative. The glassmaster made a tulip vase, a horse, and broken shards. The store was intimidating and I thought being "REAL" made it like 03493493 times better than fake. so i wanted something good. i got 3 pieces of venetian glass candy and a pretty pretty necklace. on the way back, the acappellians sang personent and signore. the view was really pretty.
when we returned to st. marco's, we had loads of free time. we went shopping and i had to buy batteries for my camera already. and presents for my friends. we went to meet anamaria, our tour guide (x333 herr!) for the gondola ride. she showed us casanova's bar and cafe circa 1700s. Then we proceeded to gondola. we had a grandddd time. i had a panoramic view. we laughed pretty much the entire time. the smell was atrocious but the views were soooo worth it. the only disappointment was the non-talking of the gondolier. to his clients. he talked on his phone. the only things he said to us :
gondolier: marco polo's house (*point*)
us: which one?
gondolier: THAT ONE.
but it was reallllly funny.
our free time after was spent eating yummy gelato (caffe e menta) i downed it in like 2 minutes. soon after, we ran throug hthe ubiquitous pigeons! We attempted to visit the basilica, but it wasn't open to tourists.then we headed to the bell tower. after some wonderful views and another camera refill, the BELLS BEGAN TO RING the hour! they were soo loud. but they were worth it. and they made a good story. we went shopping to keep warm. ultimately, all the children , freezing, waited for the chaperones for like a half hour. dinner was in our venetian wandering. for me, it was a veggie soup featuring all the veggies on the known planet, eggplant and potatoes that i think i saw made of food channel. and tiramisu that tasted assembly line.on the way to the Bellini, i watched venice at night through the boat window. it was truly magical. i felt safe. after getting there, some of the group went to the mask shop. (closed) and gelato (open!) i had nutella and amorenata (cherry and vanilla). yum. it was better tasting than the first, but thicker. and then the train station [open]. then it was time to sleeep. ish. i watched some MTV, packed, chilled, and sleeeeept. morninng-- i woke at 3. and stayed awake because of the things that go bump in the wall creeping me out. i read my phrasebook after getting ready. had breakfast. which was yummm. and now i'm on the bus. writing through the po valley. which is sooo pretty. ana maria is talking about how collegiate towns are.

2/18
Firenze(Prato)/Pisa

LUNCH : kurkare and pineapple.
then pisa!

-amazing pics of cathedral e leaning tower
-shopping carts
-leaning tower e pictures TIPPY TOP!
-church !!!
w/ latin!
-gelato (banana)
PRATO
-nice room #411
-supermarket [ bought blood oranges E1,18 , "quanto costa?", "solus", e home]
-DINNER
-cheese e ova e zucchini
-omelette e salado
GELATO! tiramisuu then walked to castle.


2/20
FIRENZE
-musei galleria academia
"david" by michelangelo
-DUOMO!
-replica "david" in original spot in senoria sq
-santa crux church
with the tombs of machiavelli, galileo, and michelangelo
-back to senoria for free time.
-PICS
-leather factory for mommy's coin purse
-walked
-ate yummmmmy pizza in the trattoria in sq
-marketplace ! ciao bellaaa
-decide to see pontevecchio
-walk run into andrew, shweta, lexi and cindy
-ginormous group where either me and cindy, or me and shweta would go cannoli/souvenir hunting
-open market!
-"let me gib you" LOL
-"good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to italy"
-GELATOOO (limon e arancione)
-walkk
-ANOTHER copy of "david" and an amazing view of FIRENZE
-dinnerrr (pasta yum with spinach and ricotta, and CHEESE. mozzerella, cheddar, parmesan, and milk jello)

-SLEEP


2/20
Siena

Siena was a beautiful city!
the town was 54,000 people (roughly twice b-town)
-17 districts (contrada) named for different animals and regions
-st caterina !
-palio race . 2x a year. 10 districts. prize = painting
museum and stable in each district

MIDEVAL!!
-dislike florence cuz of the conquest
-main sq = shell shaped
-amazingggg winding alleyways
-burnt siena crayon
-fritella (rice treat like fried dough)
-almond cookies and biscotti
-bruschetta lunch YUM


2/22
cesar augusto/sorrento
since the last time i wrote , we have since watched LOTR I on the bus, seen beautiful napoli on the way to sorrento, a resort town on naples. that night, i had the bestest pesto pasta this side of the atlantic and then poached veggies which weren't quite as yummy. and a lemon cake. *YUM*
The view of the street wasn't nearly as extravagant as other's options or views, but it was pretty. i watched some cnn and slept. yesterday, i ate an amazing nutella involved breakfast. then our group boarded the minibus to meet sandro at the port. he took us on to capri, an island where augustus spent some time and so had emperor tiberius(?). Capri was really rainy but pretty as the roads winded up the mountain of the island. i bough chocolate (lemon and orange) for the family. and then we walked on for the best view. then we went to a fragrance store and i bought soaps. and then we ate. i had mixed salad, macaroni, and water, and fragola gelato. then we left capri. the boat was very useful in sleep motivation. and once we were back at the cesar, it was time to leave again. this time for yum pastries, gelato, and free shopping time. my gelato was happy hippo and nocciola (hazlenut) and i bought a cannoli. and scarves for the friends. and a pretty dress :D
dinner was also really good. 1st course: pasta with red tomato sauce.
2nd: vegetables : pumpkin, zucchini, onions, tomato
dessert: coffe and vanilla gelato. [ but we pretended it was limon for andrew]
after dinner, the roommates and cindy shweta lexi and i tried for the internet point which unfortunately closed the minute we got there. and then cindy, lexi, shweta and i tried to go to the pastry store which was even worse with lights on taunting usss. but after we got back, coe and chelsea greeted us with an invite to "saxe in slacks!" a 25 act play made by none other than the musical theater trio of 07 [brad, peter, and andrea]
abby and jamie performed select scenes until the teachers came in. we finally told them about it,and they saw some of it but D-boomboom, being smart, opened the floor to poetry and other forms of expression. this quickly lead into a talent show type deal, where steph was pleading with me and shweta to dance. i did. NOT well, however. it was okay. but not my best. then shwet did comedy and bhangra. kate showed us how to salsa, some of the crew did the infamous potter puppets to the names of bhs teachers. it was EPIC. :D

2/22
POMPEII
Pompeii was stunning.The coloring was not as marbly as in my brain, but i have charles burbage to thank for that. we learned about the date change, more bath culture, bathROOM culture, food culture, women as entertainment culture, pretty much more about all the culture we've ever learned in latin because we were in an authentic roman establishment that was ruined. the house of the dancing fauns was incredible. and the signs and the fact taht the plaster casts looked so much in pain. so amazinggg.

2/23(24)22
ALPS/ROME
After seeing Pompeii, we finally made it to Roma! We switched buses and drivers and said "goodbye" to mariano, our badass bus driver. his bus allowed for much sleep.
we boarded a smaller bus with angelo. one of our first sights after the initial latin references and SPQRs were the glimpses of the colloseum [flavian amphitheater]. it was soooo big! when we finally stepped out to go see it, i could not believe it at all! Our local guide, Esther, was really funnny. she made lion jokes, called us brilliant, and was informative. the sheer reality of it being there was mind-boggling. we took some group pics. obligatory and nonobligatory. my camera died a death whilst there though.
after that we same the forum (fori?) Julius Caesar's was okay. I preferred Trajan's because of the engineering behind it. i mean, moving a mountain to build something is hard to beat. the column amuses me though because it just shows how the awesome trajan was so cool that he conquered dacia.
after that, and more latin iii pictures, we were off to see the trevi fountain! i wished and threw. and hopefully it came/comes true. then GELATO. indian dude there made fun of my mangoing, thought i was guju, thought i was ENGLISH, and then gave me a free cone in my icecream. he did the same for shweta, but more than halfthese things are true for her :P .
Then we headed to the bus to go to the hotel. the nova domus was very cute and nice and ecofriendly. i remember going up the stairs to open the room and immediately checking out the shared balcony where the schoolkids were playing futbol and basketball. it was a good time and we even danced around there after dinner.
the pizza dinner was good. and i had the orange-juice like fantaaa. yum. rome at night. it's sooo pretty.
2/23
yesterday, we started the day at the vatican museums. we saw so much with the help of our vatican guide giovanni. he explained the signifance of so many works. i really learned a lot. the pinecone as a symbol of fertility and birth. there was also a statuesque art piece. of a sphere within a sphere. the inner sphere represents our material world and the other space kids in the celestial world.
giovanni also retaught us the differences of greeks and roman. and the signicans of the medium used. i liked the one of the greeks that they copied. we even saw the room that leonardo davinci. the egyptian marble = pretty. and the tapestries are beautiful. finally we saw the sistine chapel. i loved how michelangelo planted it backwards to make everything more difficult. i also like the word juxtaposition of jesu christo and moses. we exiisted using the royal staircasing. swiss guards. FILLED sq for pope. i bought adi a ring and got it blessed. and i ate a pizza panini. after the pope, we left vatican. we walked to the pantheon, passing the wall that connects the angel house to vatican. lexi and i found bags on the corner later. we went toget mini cannolis and headed to the sq where cindy bought a mouse and we all bought paintings.
the service /mass at the vatican was tiring, but interesting. lots of getting up, sitting, kneeling, praying. i prayed for the familiy and then we headed to shops last minute before goign back. i packed then ate dinner. and then we all had mucho fun on the balcony. DBells visit was so cute. she sat in the chair while we all lay under the stars listening to regina. and the trip was over as quickly as it began!


FIN

italia italia italia!

italia italia italia!
dulce de italia!
parla englese?
parla englese?
parla englese?

^ me in italy :)
i can't believe it. in just about a day i'll be in ITALY.
in milan!
arghhh!
i can't believe it.
most of my packing is done. but i can't help but feel i'm forgetting things.
like really.
i hate this feeling. i have way more than enough clothes.
i have food.
i have money.
i have meds.
i have hygiene.
what's missing?
reading and camera?
check.
ipod and charger?
check.
phrasebook?
half-check.
daddy getting me one tomorrow.
late i know but i can learn fastttt
:D
photos of my friends?
not check. i can maybe put them on my ipod if i want.
nahhh. it's okay.
i can live without my home friends for a week.
i mean, it's a fabulous weeek.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
gotta finish my minute packing before sleep.
and then the last day.
before i'm in italy.
:D